


why would you ever kiss me?

by orphan_account



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, High School AU, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Song: Heather (Conan Gray), Trina-centric (Falsettos), Whizzer Brown & Trina Friendship, but also college AU, but also neither, it's the summer in between so it's kind of only mentioned, jason's coming soon i promise, no toxic relationships, okay so maybe there's less jason than i wanted there to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i'm not even half as pretty,you gave him your sweater, it's just polyester,but you liked him better, wish i were-
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte/Cordelia (Falsettos), Marvin/Trina (Falsettos), Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 42





	1. we wore our hearts out on our sleeves.

There’s a lot to be said about best friends. Even if half of them are just variations of the other half and each other, but hey, it’s (mostly) true. 

When your best friends are girls, they’re sisters to you - but the ones you chose to have. And sisters are always there for you. They’re good at keeping you company, being loyal, trustworthy (for the most part, at least) and there for you when it really counts. 

They’re also good at annoying the crap out of you. But hey, at least they’re better than brothers. Specifically, little brothers. But that’s not the point. Sisters, though wonderful at times, can make you want to unalive someone. Particularly them. But now, let’s move on. 

Close sisters do a lot of the things that (best) friends do. Like, having movie marathons, pulling all-nighters, going out (to parties) together and talking about boys. 

But a certain trio of best friends didn’t exactly do all that. They’d tried to have movie marathons together before, but none of them had been able to agree on any movies to watch, so that lasted twenty-two painful hours one day, and had never happened again. 

After pulling an all-nighter, you’re going to need some caffeine. Preferably in the form of a beverage. Now, what ‘some caffeine’ entails depends on the person. It might be a cup, it might be twelve cups. Who knows?

Well, Cordelia, one of the friends in the trio, had anxiety, which meant two things. First, Cordelia having any caffeine could potentially trigger an anxiety attack. And as her best friends, the other two girls in the trio: Trina and Charlotte, had vowed to prevent Cordelia from having anxiety attacks as much as they possibly could. Second, when she got tired, Cordelia started to overthink. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Which was, once again, something that could potentially trigger a panic attack and another thing that needed to be avoided. 

Now, of course, the three girls did go out together - just not to very many parties. Charlotte was going into medicine, so if a party had even been rumoured about having alcohol anywhere near the premises, it would be impossible to avoid a lecture on alcohol poisoning and impaired driving with Miss Dr. Charlotte. 

But talking about boys? That, they absolutely did. Well, Trina did. Charlotte and Cordelia never talked much about boys for, ahem, reasons. 

Trina was in love with the idea of falling in love. The soft words, the tender touches, that feeling in your heart that makes you feel that life just might be worth living. She’d always imagined her experience with falling in love to be just like a fairy tale. Her prince would be there when she fell, to catch her and never let go. And Charlotte and Cordelia were more than aware of Trina’s fantasies. And remember, best friends are like sisters and sisters…

Let’s set the scene. It’s a Saturday afternoon and the three girls are hanging out in Cordelia’s bedroom, sitting on her bed and cushiony bean bags. The subject of crushes had come up. And when crushes come up, so does Trina’s fantasy of falling in love. 

But it’s not Trina who’s telling it. It’s Charlotte and Cordelia who are. Mockingly. As one does. 

“And I just know that when I trip into love, he will be there to hold me. Oh, my dearest prince charming,” Cordelia had said in her...interesting impersonation of Trina. 

“I think you mean ‘my most precious darling dearest esteemed handsome treasure’” Charlotte added, with a smile. 

But it was all in good fun. That’s just what they did. Trina was the only one who was - and they took advantage of that. 

But Cordelia went on, no longer pretending to be Trina, but just describing the story as if it were a fairy tale that she so adored. “It’ll be love at first sight. You’ll trip over your dress-” Trina shot her a glare at that. Trina wasn’t exactly a confident person, but she took pride in her manner of dress being both functional and stylish and would not allow herself to be attacked - however good naturedly it was - on that. 

“Fine. You’ll trip over a rock,” Cordelia corrected, “and your eyes will meet, and you will feel as though you are two parts of a soul becoming one.” 

“But then you’re finally freed from the depths of his gaze, and he’ll call upon his noble steed to gather an army of knights to take you back to his palace, in which your prince will become a king and you, his queen.” Cordelia grinned at Charlotte’s words. 

“And if it’s a princess who rescues me, and not a prince?” Trina asked, a small smile dancing on her lips. 

“Honey, I love you, and you know that, but if there’s a princess who’s going to be saving anyone, I’m the one who’s going to be saved.” Cordelia beamed. 

“And what about Charlotte?” Trina looked between the two girls. 

“Easy. Charlotte’s easily the one with the most common sense out of the three of us. She’s never going to need to be rescued.” 

Each of them had their own attitude towards love, one that they never felt the need to hide. Because what could be more magical and beautiful than love? 


	2. see you make your way through the crowd.

Trina’s parents were...overprotective. They weren’t helicopter parents - and they had finally acknowledged that hiring a PI to watch your teenage daughter at a school-sanctioned field trip to a museum was not something that was okay to do - but hey, it’s been like what? Two? Three? Years since that had happened, and so, they were learning. 

And that meant giving Trina the freedom to do her own thing sometimes.  _ Sometimes _ . 

Which was why she was shocked to learn that her parents were letting her move into an apartment on her eighteenth birthday. Of course, her parents were going to help her pay rent and already knew her two roommates - Charlotte and Cordelia - but still, it was a massive birthday present and a lot more freedom than she’d thought they’d ever give her. 

Getting used to living together was both easier and harder than they’d expected. But hey, that’s life, isn’t it?

A few weeks after living together, the three of them decided to go out together. Without asking, or even just telling, their parents. Scandalous, right? Well, all they really did was go out to a department store. Because that’s a fun way to spend your Saturday. 

It’s not like they were of legal drinking age or anything. (They actually were, just not where they lived. They just had to drive for six minutes). 

It had been Cordelia’s idea, and for a reason unbeknownst to Trina, Charlotte had more than readily agreed to it.

“It’ll be fun,” Cordelia said, as though she was in a sitcom or something. “It’s a department store and department stores have everything.” 

“There’s no way in hell that I’m letting you drag me into Costco again,” Trina declared. 

Charlotte and Cordelia didn’t know how to respond to that. Trina never stood up for herself. Never. As much as they loved her, Trina was definitely a pushover. But she finally did - she finally said something, going against someone. It shocked no one more than Trina herself. 

The silence went on for about half a second before Trina started backtracking. If you can call ‘vigorously apologizing for everything ever, including her general existence’ backtracking. 

Charlotte was about to comfort her friend when Cordelia burst out laughing. Charlotte was going to shoot her a look to make her stop, but then she saw her face and couldn’t help but smile. And Trina was absolutely lost. 

Noticing this, Cordelia stopped. “Trina, I’m sorry. It’s just-” she sighed, debating whether or not to hug the other girl. “You never stand up for yourself and you did, well, sort of, and it was just surprising and-” 

Cordelia glanced at Charlotte. “I’m rambling, okay, sorry. I’m just so fucking proud of you.” 

“Cordelia!”

“What? Charlotte, we’re legally adults, we can swear.”

Charlotte rested her head in the palm of her hand. “Don’t remind me.” 

“I’m sorry. But hey, that’s what today’s for isn’t it?” Cordelia rarely lost her perkiness and this was not one of the few occasions of which it was to be lost. “So, we won’t go to Costco. But let’s still have fun. Spend some money. But-”

Charlotte cut her off there. “Be mindful. We’re starting university soon and that’s not exactly inexpensive.”

“If you want, I can always cover you guys. You know you don’t have to pay me back.” Trina offered, ever the empathetic one of the group. 

“No, no. We’re just going to go to a department store and browse. You’re not paying for a single thing that isn’t yours. Now come on.” The blonde said, almost dragging Trina before she had finally joined her and Charlotte in walking to the department store. 

“Guys, please, slow down,” Trina said, as kindly as she could while she was practically sprinting to keep up with her two friends. 

“Well, you know what they say about walking fast.” Charlotte and Cordelia said in almost unison. 

***

Working retail sucks. There’s no way around it. It just really, truly does. Trina’s parents had specifically forbidden her from ever working in retail. They also stopped her from getting a job when she was still in high school, but that’s a different story. 

Getting to the department store didn’t take too long, but it would’ve been nicer if they had a car. Just saying. 

Cordelia and Charlotte practically ran into the department store together, like they were two halves of the same person. But Trina? Trina just wandered, quietly, in her own little world. 

And then, all of a sudden, she was on the floor, surrounded by a pile of...were those baby hats? Particularly, baby animal hats? And why did her cheek feel different?

“Watch where you’re-” she heard a male voice - an employee, most likely - say, but he stopped mid-sentence. “I’m so sorry, let me get you some ice. Dear God, I’m so, so, so sorry. Is there anything I could do for you?” The guy kept rambling, and Trina took a good look at him. At his dark, curly (very curly) hair and his...interesting taste in clothes. There wasn’t anything wrong with them really, but it was just surprising to her, that it was appropriate for a guy - not much older than Trina - to be wearing that as work attire. What was he, a hippie?

“Mendel, leave the poor girl alone.” Mendel. So that was the curly-haired guy’s name. Trina looked up at this guy, obviously another employee and - 

Well, Trina’s only thought could be eloquently summed up as: “what the fuck is that?”

Luckily for her, she didn’t verbalize those thoughts. Charlotte would’ve been proud, Cordelia wouldn’t have been. But that didn’t matter. Badly Dressed Guy was badly dressed, obviously, but there was something about him that immediately drew Trina in. 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Badly Dressed Guy asked Mendel, who then decided to start picking the hats off the ground. He walked towards Trina and she couldn’t help staring. But Badly Dressed Guy didn’t seem to notice. And so she kept staring. 

His hair seemed soft. Like, really soft. Not like silk - though maybe that was what the individual strands felt like - she didn’t know, but it really drew her in. 

He reached out a hand, to help her up from the ground. She’d barely begun to mutter a thank you when she noticed his eyes. Those eyes really were something. The world could’ve been going to shit, but if she was looking into his eyes, then maybe everything might just be alright. 

They were blue, his eyes, but she didn’t notice that until much later. 

“Sorry about Mendel here, he can be clumsy at times,” Badly Dressed Guy smiled. Holy shit, that smile. She was at a complete loss for words. “Marvin,” he introduced himself, once again, extending his hand to her. 

“Trina,” she said, once she’d finally regained the ability to speak. 

“Well Trina,” Badly Dressed Guy - Marvin - glanced over at Mendel, who had finally finished picking up the hats, “Mendel here will get you some ice for your cheek and, as an apology, let me take you out for drinks tonight?”

“Thanks for the offer but-” Trina didn’t know what she was saying. Or thinking. There was something about this guy that spoke to her - for the first time in ages - and she could see herself really liking him, yet she instinctively tried to turn him down. Even though she had never turned down anyone in her entire life. She just wasn’t good at saying no. 

“As acquaintances, and hopefully one day, friends?” He finished. 

That should’ve made Trina feel better. Why didn’t it make her feel better?

“I would, really,” Trina started, avoiding any prolonged eye contact, “but my best friends would kill me if I went out without them and I’m only eighteen.”

Mendel then interrupted, the box of baby hats still in hand. “Invite them then. The more, the merrier.” He smiled. “And hey, it’s barely a six-minute drive. Definitely worth it for drinks with a pretty girl and her friends.” 

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Nice.” Nice? Nice? Nice? Trina blushed at that, more than she had at Mendel calling her a pretty girl. Good God, this was embarrassing. 

“So, do you want my number so we can actually sort out the details?”

“God yes.” 

Exchanging numbers was probably the most normal of the interactions Mendel and Trina had. He was pretty sweet, to be honest. But Marvin was different - there was just something about him that-

“Mendel, get the girl some fucking ice.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you're wondering about the drinking stuff, i'll explain (as much as i can). i live in ontario, so i've been taught (in school) that the University of Ottawa is literally across the street from québec, where the legal drinking age is eighteen. i've never been there but i'm almost certain there is no department store that close to the university, so let's just make this ambiguous, shall we?
> 
> oh and by the way, mendel and marvin are nineteen and doing a summer semester at the University of Ottawa. except this is my au and i don't call it that or describe it as anything other than as a university. 
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter! i might start putting my social media in here just to plug it (and also because i need more friends on there, so, that's motivation for me to write a third chapter asap).


	3. let's hangout every weekend.

Cordelia was more than excited to go out for drinks with Trina and the two boys that Trina had managed to meet - which she was definitely going to continue teasing Trina about. 

“Trina and I are literally your only two friends, are you really teasing her about this?” Charlotte inquired. 

“Yes, of course, I am!” Cordelia flopped backwards onto her bed. “It’s my best friend, it’s literally in the job description.”

Trina almost asked them to focus on what’s important but decided against it. Charlotte and Cordelia were a lot closer to each other than they were to Trina anyways. She knew that they loved her, but they just had a relationship with each other Trina could hardly imagine. 

She longed for that sort of relationship, the one that Cordelia and Charlotte had with each other. Speaking of, the pair were still going on about...something. Trina didn’t really know; she had gotten lost in her thoughts again. 

“Yeah? When was the last time you got invited to go out for drinks?” Charlotte asked. 

Cordelia considered that. “You have a point. Hey! Maybe we should get ready to go out tonight instead of teasing Trina!”

Charlotte blinked a couple of times as if she was trying to make sure that she didn’t accidentally teleport to an alternate dimension. “You’re kidding, right?” Is what she said instead. 

“Well, like half. I kind of tuned out what you’re saying and only got the general gist of it, so, some of the stuff might’ve been my idea.” Cordelia explained. 

“It wasn’t.” Charlotte clarified.

“Oh. Cool. Whatever. Let’s make me pretty.”

“What about me?” Trina spoke up. “I was the-”

“Sweetie, you’re already beautiful,” Cordelia dismissed. 

“Yeah, and so are you,” Charlotte argued. 

“Then we’ll all become prettier” Cordelia smirked. “Starting with you.” 

And that’s when Trina noticed that Cordelia was looking at her. 

“Delia, she’s not your little pet-project.” 

“I know that! I just want to see what she’d look like, in a style that’s not so…”

“Middle-aged white woman living in the late 70s to early 80s?” Charlotte filled in. 

“Exactly! See Char, you get me. This is why we make such a good pair.”

Cordelia was right. They made an amazing pair. They knew when to speak up, call each other out and when it was better to let it be. There are a million metaphors that could describe what they were to each other but really, all that matters is the connection they share. 

***

Cordelia was...several things. For example, she was extremely kind and compassionate and direct, but in the best possible way. She knew how to do fashion, too. Not that Charlotte or Trina didn’t, but Cordelia had this vibrant style that was just better suited for, well, a bar. 

However, what Cordelia was not, was good at actually dealing with her problems. 

Now that everyone was ready to go out, she wasn’t ready. Cordelia had this idea that she could just outrun her problems, if only she ran fast enough. Sometimes her friends wanted to join her in the race, but it was a marathon, not a sprint. 

So, Charlotte said Cordelia down. “Hey, hey, hey. You don’t have to come with us, I know it can be scary and it’s a new environment and-”

Cordelia smiled, in hopes that it would stop Charlotte from rambling. “No, no, it’s fine. I want to come.” And somehow, it didn’t sound like Cordelia was trying to convince herself. 

“You do?” Charlotte asked in disbelief, as Trina mouthed the same words.

“Well, I will have you there by my side to make sure I stay safe, won’t I?” 

“Yeah, you will,” Charlotte answered, barely taking half a second to think.

The three girls shared a look, knowing that they were all having some level of doubts about the night, but were excited enough to push through. If they didn’t wait. 

Marvin had texted Trina, telling her where to meet him (and Mendel) and so, that’s where they were, on a fine Saturday night. It was their first time inside a bar.

Trina hadn’t really known what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t what she had seen. Luckily, before she could get overwhelmed by the number of people, she saw Mendel and Marvin, waving her (and her friends) over. 

Trina sat down at the table, which was pretty far from the actual bar portion, but hey, at least it was relatively quiet. 

“Trina, hi,” Mendel greeted, while Marvin just nodded, acknowledging her presence. 

“Hi, hello, um-” Trina hesitated as if she forgot every word in the English language that second there, “these are my friends, Charlotte and Cordelia.” She paused to gesture to each of them, warranting awkward hellos all around. And then it was silent. Until-

“Do any of you happen to know any French?” Mendel finally broke the silence. 

Charlotte did - ever the academic - and went to order drinks for everyone. 

“Can’t you just order in English?” Marvin asked.

“You can,” Cordelia began, “but they’re probably not going to be as nice to you about it.” Trina reached a hand over to Cordelia’s and smiled when she realized that she was okay. 

“Oh,” Marvin said, “I’ve never actually been to a bar on this side before.”

“Neither have I!” Mendel added, in a chipper tone, one that Trina was starting to notice was kind of his signature. “But there’s a first time for everything!”

“And a last,” Marvin sounded like he was trying to hold back an overdramatic sigh. 

“We’ve got a round of drinks on the way, I’m not leaving yet,” Mendel said, directing his gaze on Marvin as he spoke. And this time, Marvin didn’t try avoiding a sigh. 

“Fine. Okay.” Marvin was on the verge of... a lot of things. He turned his attention towards Trina, who was still sitting with her hand on Cordelia’s. “Sorry, this turned out to be, well, whatever this is. If you haven’t been bored to death by being in the same room as me for the past five minutes, would you like to come over to my apartment? I promise I have alcohol if that’s what you desire.” 

Trina couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at that. Mendel smiled, but only a half-smile.

“Your friends are invited too,” Marvin almost stammered out but saved himself. Mendel went to pat him on the back, somewhat mockingly, but Marvin shot him a dirty look and he stopped himself. “There are a few games that go better with more than two people.” 

Charlotte chose that moment to return. “What’s going on?”

“We got invited to Marvin’s to play games!” Cordelia grinned. 

“No offense, but we only met you five minutes ago, so I don’t think that we’re entirely comfortable with going over to your apartment.” 

“I have Operation,” Marvin replied. 

“Fine. We’re in.” Charlotte seemed to like Marvin too. Huzzah. 

“Can’t wait!” Mendel clapped, and Marvin seemed to just realize that he’d have to share his apartment with his co-worker as well as the three girls. 

They decided to cheers on their drinks, which was some sort of cheap beer because Charlotte might’ve known French but she was not an expert on alcohol. Emphasis on cheap. 

“Does all alcohol taste like this?” Cordelia couldn’t help but ask. 

“I sure fucking hope not,” was Charlotte’s only reply. 

“I’m sorry if that was your first experience with alcohol. I promise I have better stuff at my place-” Marvin began to ramble. 

“It wasn’t my first, but I’ll take the good stuff.” Cordelia stood up, already ready to go. 

“Are you not going to finish that?” Mendel asked, pointing to Cordelia’s bottle. 

“No, I’m not going to finish that, it was pretty fucking awful,” 

“Oh yeah,” Trina whispered to Marvin, “forgot to mention that my friends swear like sailors.” 

“I think I’m going to get along with them just fucking fine.” Marvin smiled. Dear god that smile. That smile made Trina feel things. Many, many things. 

Before her thoughts - or rather, ‘feelings’, could devour her though, Mendel spoke. “Okay, well, at least these bottles are recyclable, so I’m going to dump them and return them to the recycling station.” Mendel started to pick up the six bottles, but Trina stopped him.

“Let me help,” she said, already holding three bottles.

“He doesn’t really have much of a choice, does he?” Trina blushed at Marvin’s words, before following Mendel to the actual bar part of the bar, leaving Marvin alone with her two friends.

“You better not be lying about your alcohol being better than this,” Charlotte said, and Marvin’s brain decided that was as good a time as any to realize he was scared of her. 

“I’m not. Hanging out should be fun - and that includes beer that isn’t shit.” 

“Good, I’m glad.” And that was the end of that conversation. 

Mendel and Trina came back smiling, and the quintet began their (long and tiresome) journey to Marvin’s apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i've never been to a bar? 
> 
> anyways, please let me know if you liked this, or loved this, or absolutely hated this, i simply must know :)


	4. play again.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Marvin greeted as the door to his apartment swung open. 

“Interesting time to choose to be humble, for once,” Mendel peered into the apartment, with Charlotte and Cordelia following him in. 

“Holy shit,” Cordelia exclaimed, somewhat under her breath. 

“How are you able to afford this place? There’s no way that working retail can cover this.” 

Marvin’s face flushed, and he seemed at a loss for words (for once). Lucky for him, Mendel swooped in. “His parents furnished it - he just pays rent and all that shit,”

Trina almost made a comment on how that made sense, given that the interior design of the place didn’t make her want to drink bleach, but she didn’t want to be rude or overstay her welcome, so that lovely thought remained inside her head. 

Cordelia rubbed her hands together, in a mix of excitement and trying to keep her hands from shaking, as they often did. “Now, where’s the good alcohol I was promised?” 

“Never said it was good,” Marvin chuckled, “just better.” 

Cordelia followed him into the kitchen nonetheless, as did Charlotte, after about a second of internal debate. Trina made her way into a chair, and Mendel just remained where he stood.

“How’s your cheek?” Mendel broke the silence. 

“Better, it’s better, yeah,” Trina was playing with the bracelet that Cordelia had her wear. 

“So the ice helped?” Trina only nodded, so Mendel went on. “That’s a really nice bracelet, where’s it from?” Trina lit up at the mention of her bracelet. It was a special one. But just as she was about to begin, Marvin came back with the two girls - and quite a bit of alcohol. 

“Let the games begin,” Marvin smiled, mainly at Trina. She could feel herself starting to melt, but reminded herself that it was too soon. Sure, he could be sweet and his smile and his-

“What are some good five-player games?” Mendel asked. 

“Yeah, these things are a lot easier when we can evenly divide ourselves into teams.” 

“Charlotte, it’s going to be fine. I’ll even sit out for Operation, just for you.”

“Aw, Trin, I don’t deserve you,”

“No you don’t,” Cordelia smirked, “I don’t even know why you like the game so much, I’ve heard you talk for hours about - well, I don’t even remember. But hey, you’re having fun, so I don’t really mind it.” And their connection strikes again.

And so they played Operation. And Ticket To Ride. And Monopoly. And Clue. And…

They lost track of time (and alcohol). Charlotte and Trina were tipsy at most, but Cordelia, she was not the most responsible of drinkers. Or responsible at all. But to be fair, neither were Mendel and Marvin. 

And so, during a game of Uno that was still going on at three in the morning, the sound of scratching reasonably frightened the five young adults. 

It took a while before Marvin had the chance to process it. “Forrest!” He almost yelled. 

“Forrest?!” The four others questioned, in voices too loud for their own ears to handle. 

“My cat.” Marvin simply explained, then opened the door to another room. 

“You’re a terrible cat owner,” Cordelia said. That was direct, even for her, but she’s drunk after all. “What? You shouldn’t leave your cat like that, locked in one room.” 

“You’re right. I just, he scratches a lot of things and I didn’t want him to make this look like the apocalypse when I was out.” 

“And then you forgot about him,” Cordelia added. 

“Yes, I did. I’m sorry. You can pet him if you want. Just- well you know how cats are.”

“That I do,” Cordelia smiled, reaching out her hand as Forrest walked by her. He stopped to smell her hand, then instantly leaned into her touch. Marvin was shocked, to say the least. 

“He never does that. He hates new people.” Marvin sputtered out. 

“And you weren’t going to warn me?” Cordelia said, now scratching behind the cat’s ears. 

“Well, I-” Marvin couldn’t get a real response out. 

“Delia, Trin, it’s late. Trina, your parents are going to kill us if they ever find out about this.” At Charlotte’s words, Cordelia stopped petting the cat, almost pouting as she did so. 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Cordelia walked off. 

“It’s-” Marvin tried to give Cordelia directions, but she cut him off. 

“I’m staying here until my Lyft arrives,” Mendel announced. 

“Great, then you’re helping me clean up the games.” 

“I’ll help too,” Trina started, “Clean up, that is.”

“Really?” Marvin was almost in a state of disbelief. “I mean, thanks.”

Charlotte went outside somewhere to call a Lyft, leaving Trina, Mendel and Marvin picking up games, glasses, popcorn kernels and empty beer bottles.

“This was nice,” Trina said, trying to keep the atmosphere from being uncomfortably silent.

But, before either of the guys could agree, there was a loud noise coming from the door. Oh. It was just opening. Charlotte was probably back from calling the Lyft. Probably, because Charlotte didn’t make that much noise walking around the apartment. Charlotte didn’t touch the cat. Charlotte also wasn’t a tall, impeccably dressed, brunette pretty boy sort of guy. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The pretty boy greeted, ever so polite. 

“My name is Marvin and this is my apartment.” 

“No, this is my apartment.”

“I can assure you, it’s my apartment.” 

“What’s your cat’s name?” He said instead of arguing any further. 

“What’s yours?” Marvin grinned, feeling like he’d seized the opportunity. 

“Don’t have a cat.” Pretty Boy deadpanned. 

“I meant you, as a person.” 

Before Pretty Boy could answer, Cordelia finished in the bathroom and walked back into the living room. The pair made eye contact. 

“Cordelia?” He asked at the same time she said,

“Whizzer?” 

“What are you doing here?” They asked, once again at the same time. 

“I’m hanging out with Marvin,” Cordelia answered.

“I got lost on my way home.”

“Drunk, I see.”

“You’re one to talk,” Whizzer retaliated.

“So are you going to fill anyone else here on what’s going on? You date in high school or something?” Marvin interrupted.

“Not until I know the name of the cat,” Whizzer bent down, petting the cat, who leaned into his touch the same way it did to Cordelia’s. 

“His name is Forrest,” Cordelia explained. 

“He kind of reminds me of Celery,” Whizzer smiled at Cordelia, who smiled back. So it seemed that there wasn’t...tension between the two? 

“I’m not even going to ask. But please, enlighten us on how you two know each other. First loves, best friends turned high school sweethearts…” Marvin trailed off. 

“Marv, my man,” Whizzer started, before almost doubling over in laughter. 

Cordelia couldn’t help laughing. “Marvin, you don’t seriously think that Whizzer and I are straight, do you?”

“God, I must be doing my entire life wrong if anyone can look at me and think, even for a second, that I’m straight.” Whizzer practically moaned out. 

“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t think for a second that you were straight,” Trina said, low enough for only Whizzer to hear. 

“I appreciate that. Also, love the look you’ve got going on. Oh, and your makeup. It’s absolutely stunning. But, has anyone ever told you that you’d rock the late 70s to early 80s middle-aged mom style?”

“Your,” Trina paused, “Cordelia here specifically made me wear this instead of my usual outfit, which is-”

“The late 70s to early 80s middle-aged mom style?” Whizzer finished for her. 

“Exactly. Trina, nice to meet you.” 

“Whizzer, but you already knew that.”

“So how do you and Cordelia know each other?”

“Family friends.” He said as if that was going to explain everything. 

Trina only nodded, leaving to let him catch up with Cordelia. 

“I heard what you said, about not thinking he looked straight,” Charlotte said. Trina’s face flushed. “I didn’t hear the rest of your conversation, don’t worry,”

“Yeah, no, I was more scared about the fact that I didn’t hear you come in. When’d you get back?” Trina asked. 

“Right after Mr. Whizzer Brown here. He didn’t bother to close the door so I just snuck in.” 

“Brown? But that’s Cordelia’s last name, isn’t it? He told me they were family friends, wait do you think that-” 

“As much as I love you, don’t...think.”

“Solid advice from the soon-to-be-doctor.”

“Ooh, that’s a good one.”

“Just tell me why you know his last name, and why it’s the same if they’re not related.” 

Trina was glad that she was sober enough to understand what words meant, because of what she could hear of Marvin, Mendel, Cordelia and Whizzer, it wasn’t the most...logical of discussions. Trina wasn’t glad that she was sober enough to realize that Charlotte knowing about Whizzer and Cordelia’s family friends meant that Charlotte and Cordelia were closer than she thought they were. 

“Interesting way to become friends though, having the same last name.”

“No, no, no,” Charlotte began to correct Trina. “They became friends and then they realized that they had the same last name.” 

“Oh. Sounds like fun,”

“Come on, let’s head home.”

“Home sounds good.”

“Delia!” Charlotte yelled out. 

“Ow,” 

“Sorry.”

Cordelia somehow didn’t hear Charlotte’s ear-splitting yell (ear-splitting to Trina, at least), so they had to physically separate her from Forrest. 

“I want a cat,” Cordelia whined. 

“I know you do, but this is not your cat, so let’s go,” Charlotte was a second away from physically dragging Cordelia away from the cat and out of the apartment. But to be fair, so was Trina. It was practically four in the morning and they were exhausted. 

“Bye Delia,” Whizzer waved, now petting Forrest - who was sitting in his lap - with the other. 

“My Lyft is here so, bye,” Mendel said, and Marvin just nodded, acknowledging Mendel’s words like he was in a spy movie. 

This left Marvin alone with Whizzer. “You are aware that you broke into my apartment, yes?”

“Aren’t you drunk? You seemed drunk earlier. Why are you so uptight? Besides, technically, I didn’t break into your apartment. Charlotte left the door unlocked.” 

“Okay, well, why are you still here?” 

“I like your cat.”

“And he likes you,” Marvin frowned slightly at that. 

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Not only are you a complete stranger who I met ten minutes ago, who is now sitting on my couch, petting my cat, but said cat likes you more than he likes me.” 

If Cordelia was still there, she’d remind him that he locked Forrest in a room for like eight hours straight, but she wasn’t there to say that

“Whatever. I’m going to bed.” 

“With a stranger here? Tsk, tsk, Marvin. Aren’t you worried I’m going to steal something?”

“Are you going to leave my apartment if I ask you to?” 

“Good question.” Whizzer acted like he was thinking for a second. “Nope.”

Marvin sighed. “What's your apartment number anyways?”

“336E”

“This is 338E.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I was one door off? God, I’m never going out for drinks again.” 

“That’s a shame, I was going to invite you over next weekend.”

Whizzer gave Marvin a once-over. “Maybe I can make an exception.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my au and i can give marvin a cat if i want to.  
> also trina and whizzer??? having friendly moments?? in my fic? it's more likely than you think
> 
> (oh and can you tell that i haven't lived in an apartment in years?)


	5. i can't sleep, it's 4am.

“You were right, Trina, he was cute,” Charlotte said as the trio made their way back into their own apartment. Trina only hummed in response.

“I liked his cat,” Cordelia added. “I want a cat.”

Charlotte chuckled, the sound light and warm. “We know.”

“I haven’t seen Whizzer in years,” Cordelia had made her way to the sort of run-down couch in their apartment and flopped onto it. 

“Oh, yeah, when was the last time you two saw each other?” Trina asked, sitting down on fold-out chairs they were using instead of actual armchairs. 

As Cordelia seemed to be thinking about that, Charlotte took that as an opportunity to lift Cordelia’s head so that she could sit down on the couch, with Cordelia’s head in her lapped. Cordelia smiled up at the other girl as she played with her hair. 

Charlotte and Cordelia had each other, and Trina wasn’t jealous of their relationship with each other but wanted one like that for herself. She wanted someone who was hers, someone who could make her smile in her deepest, darkest moments. 

That’s the way she felt about Marvin. Something about Marvin drew her in. Sure, okay, maybe (just maybe) it was his looks, but still, there was something else there. And she knew that he felt the same way. 

Cordelia seemed to have dozed off before she could give an answer, so Trina and Charlotte were left to sit there, in the living room, in near-complete silence. 

“Go,” Charlotte said, “I’ll spend the night here, it’s fine.”

“On the couch? Sitting, Char-” 

“It’s alright, Trin. I’ll survive one night, besides, someone needs to make sure she gets through the night okay,” 

“I will never understand how one person can drink so much,”

“Neither will I. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Trina retreated to the bedroom, barely remembering that she needed to shower. But first, she texted Marvin, just to say hello. Post-shower (including hair washing), and hair-drying, Trina was finally ready to change into her pajamas, get into bed, and sleep. 

But her phone had other plans. And by that, she meant that Marvin had texted her back. She was relieved to hear that he didn’t hate her and was willing to talk to her. 

And so they did. Trina didn’t really have much to talk about, she just mentioned how close Charlotte and Cordelia were, how she was scared that her parents would think this whole summer apartment thing was a terrible idea and make her move back in with them, 

But Marvin could go on, and Trina more than ready to listen. Because, for once, someone was talking directly to her. He complained about work, though that was mainly about Mendel and his boss, his professors who thought that their students’ lives revolved around their classes, his parents, his cat and most importantly, Whizzer. 

Trina found out that Whizzer stayed at Marvin’s, long after everyone else had left. ‘Long after’ as in, Whizzer was still there, as Marvin and Trina were texting. Eventually, Marvin started to complain that his fingers were getting tired. So, Trina suggested that they call. 

“Don’t you live with Charlotte and Cordelia? Aren’t you worried about disturbing them?” Was the first thing Marvin said when Trina picked up the phone. 

“I got my headphones and they’re in another room, sleeping, so how about you?”

“Whizzer still won’t leave.”

“So same old,”

“Exactly. I met the guy like three hours ago and he’s been in my apartment since then.”

“What’s he even doing?”

Trina heard a rustling noise that she assumed to be Marvin trying to see what Whizzer is doing. “He’s asleep. My cat is on his lap, and he’s asleep. They both are. Fuck.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I jammed my toe into the coffee table.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, well, that’s fun. At least Whizzer isn’t being as loud as shit anymore.” Noting the silence, Marvin began to clarify. “Right after everyone left, Whizzer and I started talking. Mainly about apartment numbers. Guess what? Turns out we’re next-door neighbours, so that’s fun.” Trina almost giggled at the sarcasm in his tone. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Trina sighed, “I’m just imagining Whizzer coming over to ask for an egg, or a cup of sugar, at odd hours in the morning.” 

“God, no, I do not want to imagine that.” 

“What happened after? The apartment mishap, how’d it end?”

“Well judging by the fact that he’s currently passed out on my couch, he did not find his way back to his apartment.” 

“Not to sound rude or forward or anything like that, but why didn’t you kick him out?”

“Forrest liked him.” There was something else, in Marvin’s tone, that Trina couldn’t quite make out. Was he tired? Was he not used to Forrest liking people? Was he- Trina started to yawn and decided that it would be best to stop thinking. 

“Hey, what time is it?” 

“Almost four,” Marvin answered. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“I got to be somewhere tomorrow.” 

“Work?” Trina questioned. 

“Something like that, yeah.” 

“So you have to go?” Trina was already missing the conversation and it hadn’t even ended. 

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just- I’m busy. You get it, don’t you?” 

“Of course,” Trina forced a smile, even though Marvin couldn’t see her and she couldn’t even see herself. “Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah, bye.” Marvin hung up. 

Trina liked that, talking to Marvin, but now she was worried. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep now, even if she tried. She was also thirsty. Really thirsty. Getting herself out of bed was no easy feat, but it was worth it for the water. 

Trina walked into the connected kitchen-living room, taking extra care to be quiet with her footsteps. It was dark, so Trina was glad she’d memorized the layout of the place. Just as she had filled up her glass with water, she heard a voice. 

A million thoughts zoomed through her head, but taking a few deep breaths - using that method Cordelia did when she had anxiety attacks - prevented her from digging any further into the million ‘possibilities’ of what the noise was. 

And as she was walking back to the bedroom, she figured it out. It was Cordelia, talking, to someone. On the phone. 

“Don’t mind me, I’m still processing the fact that you fell asleep on his couch. You always had trouble falling asleep anywhere but your own bed - including my house.” Cordelia was whisper-yelling. Cordelia paused, listening to the person she was talking too.

“Jesus Christ, you had a fever and still went out drinking?” Trina could see Cordelia a bit, if she looked hard enough, and saw her nodding along as the other person was talking. “And a sore throat? What the hell is wrong with you?” 

Cordelia sighed - loudly too - and continued to talk. “That was a hypothetical question. Just, go home and go to bed, I don’t need to hear you complaining about how this dude lowkey asked you out and then proceeded not to talk to you. I’ve had enough. You’re tired, I’m tired. Go the fuck to sleep....” 

Trina knew that Cordelia and the other person were still talking, but she felt bad about eavesdropping and was exhausted. She was going to try to fall asleep. For real, this time. 

***

Marvin and Trina kept talking. It helped her get her mind off things and it helped Marvin...articulate his feelings. And when she did say something, about her own life, he gave her advice and helped her. So things went well. And they talked more, and more, and more. 

Sure, they talked during the days, but Marvin was busy with work and school and Trina was busy with Netflix and ‘trying to find a job’, so they really talked at night, particularly on nights when at least one of them was having trouble sleeping. 

Marvin complained about Whizzer and Mendel, and Trina was happy to finally be this close to someone, to have someone open up their heart to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're reading this and going hey, it's kind of OOC, you would be correct. 
> 
> i'm trying to capture the characters as much as i can, for them being basically children, in entirely different scenarios and in pretty much an entirely new world. 
> 
> also, @ every here for whizzer and marvin, first off, i feel you, second, this is trina centric, so...
> 
> i hope you liked it though :)


	6. not quite the third of december.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi okay so this chapter is dedicated to Large Walrus because i saw their comment and it made my day yesterday and yeah,,,thank you sm i'm glad you enjoy this

Texting and calling and face-timing was fun and all, but Trina really wanted to see Marvin again - in person - and was sure that he felt the same way too. So they planned to. And it was still summer and a nice one at that. The August Blues hadn’t even started to hit yet, but Trina felt like she’d known Marvin for years. 

So it’s safe to say that she was excited to see Marvin again. Yes, ‘excited’ is definitely an understatement. She was bouncing off the walls. Metaphorically, of course. 

They weren’t the party type, and neither really was Marvin, so they decided to have a game night, with a movie thrown into the mix - Trina assured Charlotte and Cordelia that he was the one who’d be choosing the movie, so the three of them just had to suck it up and keep quiet - and warned them to bring some stuff to stay the night, so they wouldn’t have to go back home at three in the morning. 

“A co-ed sleepover? Tsk, tsk, what would mother and father think of this?”

“You know co-ed means co-education, right?” Charlotte asked before Trina could speak. 

“What should I say then, a ‘mixer’, that’s so much worse!” 

“I don’t know!”

“You completely ruined my teasing!” Cordelia whined out. 

“That’s my job darling,” Charlotte over-exaggerated a wink at her words. 

“Can I talk now?” Trina said, finally catching the attention of the two girls, who nodded. “Thank you. Well, this summer is my taste of freedom from my parents. So, if I’m going to spend the night with someone other than you two, why shouldn’t there be boys?” 

“Boys? Plural?” Cordelia and Charlotte asked in (near) unison. 

“Yeah, Marvin, Mendel and Whizzer.”

“Whizzer? Whizzer, like Whizzer Brown, Whizzer, or is this another Whizzer?”

“You don’t have to say his name six times Delia, he isn’t Beetlejuice.”

“You need to say Beetlejuice’s name three times, not six,” Cordelia fired back. 

“But Delia is a Beetlejuice character, so you should at least give her some points for that,” Trina added. 

“Wait a minute, have we all watched Beetlejuice?” Charlotte inquired. The answer was yes; they all had watched Beetlejuice. 

“And yet we can never decide on a sleepover movie,” Cordelia muttered.

“Hey, that’s Marvin’s job tonight,” Trina smiled. 

Charlotte and Cordelia decided not to react at the ‘tonight’ bit. 

“I take it you’re already packed?” Charlotte questioned. 

“That would be correct.”

“And we haven’t even started,” Cordelia grumbled. 

“I have,” 

“Great, well, thank you both, I’m going to start packing now. See you tonight.” Cordelia walked away, and into the bedroom, presumably to pack. 

Charlotte started to follow her but stopped herself. “I still have to finish packing, um, bye.” 

“Okay, okay, yeah, I get it.”

After about two hours of scrolling through Netflix, Instagram and messages with Marvin, Charlotte and Cordelia emerged from the bedroom, their overnight bags in hand and their hair and outfits quite mussed. 

“Packing,” Cordelia said, more than a little out of breath, “Is a lot more physically strenuous than I thought it was,” 

“I could’ve told you that myself,” Trina countered. “Are we ready?”

“I am,” Charlotte said, “Are  _ you _ ?” 

“Cordelia?” Trina said instead of answering the question.

“Soon as I catch my breath I am, yeah,” Cordelia paused, “Okay, I caught my breath.”

“Then we shall go,” Trina overexaggerated the word shall. 

“Why?” Cordelia muttered to herself, although she knew she’d do the exact same. 

***

They got to Marvin’s apartment around the time they’d promised to be there, which was six o’clock. And it was Whizzer who opened the door, not Marvin, greeting them. 

“Hey, welcome to this humble abode,” he smirked as he sort-of mocked Marvin.

“You weren’t even here when Marvin said that,” Charlotte pointed out. 

Whizzer laughed at that, “he seriously called this place a humble abode?”

“I’m afraid so,” Cordelia said, pushing past her childhood friend, “I’m starving, where’s the food I was promised?”

“Hello to you too, Delia,” he glanced at her as she walked toward the kitchen. Then, he turned back to Charlotte and Trina, who were awkwardly holding their bags and standing there. “Of course, where are my manners, come on in,” he smiled.

Trina forced a smile as she walked in, throwing her bag near the couch. Charlotte set her bag down next to it. “I can’t believe we’re seriously having a six person sleepover here.”

“The apartment’s easily two and a half times the sizes of ours, and we have three people living there. Full time.”

“Trin, you okay?” Charlotte was starting to get concerned for her best friend. Trina was many things, but cold wasn’t one of them. When her feelings were hurt, she would pretend that everything was okay, and was extra nice - too nice, even - to make up for her own pain. 

But this, this was new. And Charlotte didn’t know what to do about it. 

But before Trina answered, and before Charlotte could dive further into her thoughts (read: worries) about her best friend, Marvin walked in. 

“Trina, hello, how are you? You look great,” he said, his hands moving like he couldn’t decide between going in for a high-five, handshake or hug. 

“I’m,” Trina hesitated, “good, how are you?” The conversation continued as awkwardly as it began, almost as if they hadn’t spent sixty hours talking to each other in the last week alone. 

But luckily for everyone, though mostly Trina and Marvin because neither of them wanted to keep that awkward conversation going whatsoever, Mendel had arrived. With food, too. 

“Trina, hello, Charlotte, Cordelia, nice to see you, Whizzer,” Mendel trailed off, “hi, I guess,”

“Hello!” Whizzer answered perkily (too perkily, in Trina’s opinion), “thanks for bringing all this food over, I know it wasn’t cheap,” 

“It definitely was not,” Mendel grumbled. Marvin patted him on the back, in an attempt to comfort him. Instead, Mendel glared at him, and Marvin surrendered, backing away. 

Whizzer, having somehow found some alcohol, took a sip and chuckled lightly at that. Mendel and Marvin both glared at the taller man. 

“Why is he even here?” Cordelia near whined out. “Last I heard, you-” she pointed to Marvin, “didn’t like him. Like, at all,” Instead of answering, Marvin handed her a glass of alcohol. 

Charlotte, who was standing next to Cordelia - like she almost always was - took the glass out of Cordelia’s hands, and much to everyone’s surprise, downed it herself. 

“What in the fucking hell was that shit for?” Trina, Mendel and Whizzer could barely hold in their laughter - something that they knew from the glances they exchanged with each other at Cordelia’s words. 

“I’m not dealing with another drunk you is all,” Charlotte retorted. 

“We’re not even going home tonight! Besides, it’s your fault that your neck was hurting for two days after that night. No one made you sit like that,” Cordelia wasn’t yelling, but she wasn’t speaking in a normal voice either. 

“Three days, Delia, it was three days,” Charlotte said.

“So,” Mendel clapped his hands together, loudly, trying to avoid witnessing a fight between the blonde and brunette, “what’s our first game of the night? Monopoly, Twister, Codenames, Catan, Ticket To Ride, Uno, Poker, Clue, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Rummikub, Yahtzee, Risk-”

“Risk?”

“You just let me keep talking, I was running out of games to name,” Mendel said, defending himself to Marvin. 

“Why don’t we just start with the movie?” Whizzer asked. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” Marvin replied, without the slightest of hesitation. 

“Sounds good,” Trina smiled, trying to make eye contact with Marvin. But he didn’t see her, didn’t spare a second to look at anyone other than, than him. Whizzer Brown. Whizzer Brown wasn’t a saint, but he didn’t pretend he was. Maybe that’s what drew people in. 

Maybe it was because he was pretty, because of his smile, the way he laughed, the way he carried himself, the way-

Trina stopped herself there. There was no reason to be jealous. If that even was jealousy. 

No one was going to have a relationship with Marvin the way that Trina did. What the two of them had was special and Trina knew that. 

“Mamma Mia?” Mendel said, “really man, of all the movies you could’ve picked, you picked Mamma Mia?” Marvin just shrugged. 

“What’s wrong with Mamma Mia?” Trina asked, innocently. 

Mendel almost started to answer, but Cordelia and Whizzer answered instead. At the exact same time. “Nothing. Nothing is wrong with Mamma Mia,” 

The two people with the last name Brown but weren’t related shared a look, then Whizzer continued. “Mamma Mia’s a happy, fun, relatively-good-for-watching-with-your-family movie.”

“And sure, the songs might not move the plot along, but it’s ABBA, does it have to?” 

“Fine, whatever,” Mendel surrendered. “Just play the goddamn thing,” And so they did. 

And unsurprisingly, during every song, every single person got up and sang at the top of their lungs. Even Mendel, which was the most surprising bit of all. 

But everyone was having fun, and that’s what really mattered. 

By the time the movie’s credits were rolling, everyone was both exhausted and energized. “Please tell me no one actually wants to play a board game right now,” Cordelia practically squeaked, because her voice was tired from singing all the parts to all the songs (in addition to the dialogue, which she’d had memorized since she was fourteen,” 

“I definitely don’t,” Whizzer groaned and shared a smile with Cordelia. 

There was a domino effect in their chorus of no’s, and so, they decided to just lay around and talk. They weren’t even looking at each other, not really. They’d cleared out the table and were just sprawled out over chairs and sofas and the floor, staring at the ceiling. 

And it was only eight-thirty. 

“Is there a meaning to life?” Mendel wondered aloud. 

“In what sense?” Trina questioned, without a moment of hesitation. 

“As in, what is the reason for life to exist on this planet, in this universe. What good do we, specifically humans, do for this planet? Why are we here?”

“Sweet lord, how much alcohol have you had today?” Cordelia inquired. 

“Marv here cut him off after about half a bottle of vodka,” Whizzer helpfully supplied. 

“They didn’t get my jazz cabbage though,” Mendel smiled. 

“He’s kidding,” Whizzer explained. “Mendel only uses marijuana for medicinal purposes.”

“Yep,” Mendel answered, “but I did have a lot of vodka though. I have many regrets,” He said, getting up and walking to the kitchen for a glass of water. 

“I’m sure it’s not just the vodka behind those,” Whizzer mumbled, low enough for Trina to hear, but not anyone else, as far as Trina was aware, and she chuckled lightly. 

“You diluted the vodka, didn’t you?” Trina whispered to Whizzer, glad that they were next to each other, for once.

“Abso-fucking-loutely,” Whizzer said, “I’m never letting that guy drink more than three shots of vodka. Ever. Last time was, not good, to say the least,” 

“Last time?” Trina asked, almost to herself. 

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Cordelia pretty much yelled out. “How’d you and Mendel meet and become friends anyway?”

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say that we’re friends-” Whizzer teased. 

“We went to high school together,” Mendel yelled from the kitchen. 

“I still talked to Whizzer when we were in high school,” Cordelia whispered, loud enough for Charlotte and Trina to hear. “Why didn’t Whizzer mention him?”

“Way to put it, Del,” Whizzer chuckled, sitting up, right as Trina did. Now they were both leaning on the couch, making eye contact too.” 

“What do you want me to say?” Mendel said, before taking a sip of his water and he came back to the ‘living room’ area of the apartment, a whole eight feet away from the kitchen. “We dated in high school, for like, what, a month?”

“I’m sorry, you WHAT-” Marvin almost yelled out.

“Calm your tits, Marv,” Whizzer said, calmly. “We never dated.” 

Marvin let out an audible sigh at that (as did Cordelia, but you could barely hear her’s over the sound of Marvin’s). 

“We only hooked up like four times,” Whizzer said, “a week, for a month, straight.”

“Jesus Christ,” Charlotte murmured. 

“Aren’t you Jewish?” Trina smirked.

“So are you, and I hear you say it all the time,” Cordelia combatted. 

“Are we just not going to talk about this? You guys knew each other? And not only that, you hooked up, like several times. I’ve been hanging out with you two nearly every day for the last week and a half, were you ever going to mention it?” Marvin queried.

“So none of you are surprised I,” Mendel paused, “with a dude?” 

“Not to be stereotypical, but you do give off bi vibes,” Trina explained. 

“I’ve been telling him that for years, but he never listens, thank you!” Whizzer exclaimed. 

“So do you,” was Mendel’s only response to Trina’s words. 

“Remember Violet?” Charlotte said, to Cordelia and Trina. 

“I certainly do,” Trina almost groaned, “I was head over heels for her, wasn’t I?”

“You were, but we love you anyway,” Cordelia said, “besides, you technically got her and Judy together, so they have you to thank for that.” 

“Damn right she did,” Whizzer gave her another fist bump, despite not knowing who Violet and Judy were and why they were happy that they were together. 

“Is anyone in this room straight?” Mendel wondered aloud. Marvin started to raise his hand, but before anyone could really see it, it was back down, in his lap. 

“I guess LGBT youth really do just attract one another, huh,” Whizzer commented. Trina laughed, slightly. “Still can’t believe someone thought I was straight though.”

“I was drunk, let it be!” Marvin defended himself. 

“Sure, sure, sure,” Whizzer gave up. 

The night went on, with them talking, playing games, and whatever. Trina sat next to Whizzer pretty much the whole night. Whizzer was on her left, and Marvin was on his left. Whizzer was really fun to be around. He didn’t really have a filter, and Trina liked that. Because they were similar, deep down, Trina felt it, but they expressed themselves so differently. Trina definitely liked that. She admired his confidence, the way he was so comfortable to be himself and speak his mind.

By one in the morning, things had settled down. No one was ready to sleep yet, so they were just talking, in pairs, on the ground. They could faintly smell the pizza box sitting on the kitchen counter and the alcohol on each other’s breath, but it was nice. Charlotte was talking to Mendel, Marvin to Cordelia and Whizzer to Trina. 

They were three not-so-likely pairs. 

Trina noticed early on that Whizzer was funny. It was the second thing she realized about him, the first having been that he was pretty. Objectively speaking. She knew that she had no chance with him, nor did she want one. But he was also really smart. 

He was witty and insightful and intelligent, and in general, so interesting to talk to. He respected her, too, and never cut her off, spoke over her, or belittled her. 

“I’m cold,” she announced, at a pause in their discussion. 

“I’d offer you the sweater I’m wearing, but there’s nothing underneath,” Whizzer said. 

“Here, have mine,” Marvin immediately threw the one he was wearing at her. 

“Thanks,” Trina said, putting it on. 

“Of course,” Marvin smiled, though she barely caught it in the dark, “besides, it looks better on you than it does on me.” 

Trina’s heart skipped a beat and she wondered if he knew how she felt about him. 

But instead, she kept talking to Whizzer, while thinking of Marvin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i was going to make mendel borderline homophobic and then went no, straight people don't exist. 
> 
> also rip to forrest the cat, he's not dead i just forgot about him and he deserves better


	7. what a sight (as i walk by).

Trina couldn’t remember when she fell asleep, but she certainly did remember waking up in the middle of the night. She found herself in the living room, where she last remembered herself joking with Whizzer and Mendel. 

But they were nowhere in sight. No, wait a minute, Mendel was right there, not too far from Cordelia and Charlotte - whose sleeping bags were practically touching - but Whizzer wasn’t anywhere in sight, and neither was Marvin. 

To be honest, she didn’t really care where they were or why they weren’t in their sleeping bags. Marvin probably (read: definitely) wasn’t a fan of sleeping on the floor, and Whizzer liked the cat. Forrest, as Trina would later remember. 

But her eyes were sore and her head ached - something she blamed on staying up late talking with Whizzer - so she needed water. And that meant not going back to sleep, not yet. 

Trina, like Cordelia, liked to look on the bright side of things. So she looked around, in the apartment, basking in the quiet peace of the weekend morning. The sun was starting to rise, but it wasn’t very bright yet, and the sky was hours away from reaching its standard blue. 

Trina kept glancing outside at the sunrise as she searched for a glass in the cabinets. She mentally cursed Marvin for keeping his apartment organized in such a nonsensical way as she found the water glasses in some random kitchen drawer where they most surely were not supposed to be. 

After finally having had some water, Trina decided to walk around for a bit, just to stretch her legs. It was about four or five in the morning, so Trina didn't feel comfortable going outside of the apartment. So she decided to wander about inside the apartment instead. 

He'd given them a tour before, the first time they came to the apartment, so Trina knew how to not get lost - it was definitely harder to intentionally get lost than find one's way around it. She'd already tried to re-organize the closet at the apartment and therefore avoided that side of the place. 

She thought she remembered Marvin saying something about it being a two-bedroom place and took the liberty to avoid the bedroom he'd introduced as his own. Instead, she walked down the hall to the other bedroom - the one she'd assumed he would've used for storage or...something like that. 

She wasn’t feeling tired anymore, in fact, she doubted that she’d be able to go back to sleep. Which is how she found herself peering into that second bedroom, hoping to herself that Marvin wouldn’t mind her ‘snooping’ as he’d probably put it. 

But contrary to her belief, the bedroom wasn’t simply a storage unit. It was a guest room, a nice, neat, organized, guest room. With someone in it. No, people in it. 

People she couldn’t see the phases of, and though Trina was extremely intelligent, it did not take a genius to figure out who the pair were. 

She took a few steps back and out of the room, trying not to think about the sight she’d just seen. But how could she not? It, it was them. Marvin and Whizzer, Whizzer and Marvin. 

It was the person she liked, so much that it hurt, so much so that she could’ve convinced herself it was love. And someone else. A very specific someone else. Someone that she wanted to hate, for having Marvin, but it wasn’t his fault. 

It wasn’t his fault that Marvin wanted _him_ and not her. 

She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Screw not being able to sleep, she was finding Forrest and petting him until it calmed her down and tired her out. 

Until she forgot about all the things that she wanted but would - could - never have. 

***

Trina couldn’t remember when she fell asleep, but she certainly did remember waking up in a cold sweat. She opened her eyes to find that everyone, save for herself, Cordelia, and Whizzer had already woken up and put away their sleeping bags and whatever. 

Cordelia was still in a deep slumber, how, Trina hadn’t a single clue, while Whizzer’s stuff remained unattended next to her own. Trina made an educated guess that it was untouched (by Whizzer, of course) because of the cat. 

Educated because she made eye contact with Forrest when he opened his eyes and stared into her soul like he wanted to kill her for interrupting his sleep with her presence. 

She wouldn’t be opposed to that. 

“Good morning,” Whizzer said cheerily as he brought her a coffee cup. 

“Thanks,” she (sort-of) grumbled out, taking a sip. “Cordelia can’t have caffeine, so if you need any substitutes-”

“I remember,” Whizzer said, in a way that sent chills down Trina’s spine. It was only then that she realized she was still wearing Marvin’s sweater. 

She stood up, doing her best not to spill the coffee, and headed over to the kitchen, where Mendel, Charlotte and Marvin were occupied in three respective tasks.

Mendel was ferociously trying to solve a crossword, an untouched mug of coffee and slice of toast next to him, while Charlotte was reading a book she’d found and Marvin was tending to something cooking while wearing a very questionably designed apron. 

“What is that?” Whizzer asked, standing next to Trina yet again. 

“It’s eggs,” Marvin sighed out. 

“Sure doesn’t look like it,” Whizzer smirked.

Ignoring Whizzer, Marvin greeted Trina, saying good morning.

“You gave me your sweater last night, do you want it back?” Trina already started to take it off, when Whizzer stopped her. 

“Marv, don’t make her take it off,” he said to Marvin, then looked at Trina. “Honey, Trina, you’re freezing. Don’t take it off,” 

Trina looked to Marvin, wondering what he had to say. He shrugged, but then, instead of turning to the eggs he was making - eggs being a very loose term, given the way that Marvin was cooking them - Marvin was watching Whizzer. 

Because of course he was. Whizzer was waking Cordelia in the living room, quietly and gently. He would be really good with kids, Trina thought absently. 

After finally waking, Cordelia made her way into the kitchen and next to Charlotte. Whizzer walked by, but didn’t stop in the kitchen with the other five. 

Marvin was watching Whizzer, and Trina was watching Marvin look at him. 

Her headache wasn’t as bad as before, but her eyes were still sore. And Whizzer, as well as Marvin, were easy on the eyes. 

Marvin had this whole sort of scruffy-vibe (and a terrible taste in clothing, as everyone could agree), but Whizzer was essentially the poster Pretty Boy. Gel in his hair, carefully ironed shirts, with the top button (or two) always left undone. 

And when Marvin looked at Whizzer, his expression was brighter than the blue sky. 

He was mesmerized. Marvin was as mesmerized by Whizzer as Ariel was with the idea of living on land, as European empires by power, as she was by Marvin. 

Then Whizzer was out of sight and Marvin was back to focusing on the...breakfast that he was trying to make. The eggs were soon ready and Trina knew she couldn’t delay eating...that for much longer, so she was bracing herself for it when she heard a door open. 

And into the kitchen waltzed none other than Whizzer Brown, with definitely over two dozen bagels and a few styrofoam containers in a bag. 

“Cordelia, help Marvin cut up some lettuce and tomatoes,” Whizzer said, sitting down next to Trina. “We’ve got bagels and I even got some cream cheese from the place.”

“Is it kosher?” Marvin questioned, having already gotten the vegetables out of the fridge and handed them to Cordelia, who was in the middle of washing them. 

“Yes, it’s the Philadelphia kind,” Whizzer replied. 

“Marvin, you don’t even keep kosher.” Mendel looked up from his crossword, for the first time since she’d woken up that morning, Trina noticed. 

“I try,” he countered. 

“There’s also a container with each of fried, scrambled and poached eggs. I got them on the side so you can mix-and-match. You’re welcome” Whizzer took a seat next to Trina. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” Trina whispered to Whizzer, because she genuinely didn’t know if she would survive eating Marvin’s attempt at eggs. 

“Marvin’s not the worst cook, I promise you that, but eggs are not something he should be allowed to touch. Ever.” 

The six of them enjoyed their bagels, whether they were plain - since Mendel apparently 'preferred' them that way - or with a combination of the toppings. 

As they ate, Trina knew that she would remember this day - and the night before - for a long time. The one where she got to know Whizzer better, the one where she wore Marvin's sweater and the one where she watched _him_ fall for Whizzer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while writing this i remembered an english teacher of mine marking my (many) run-on sentences in an essay i wrote with 'RO' and imagined those markings on this fic and then proceeded not to edit the run-on sentences because i kinda vibe with them to be completely honest. 
> 
> does marvin's apron say 'kiss the chef' or something more obnoxious: discuss. 
> 
> i'm also not jewish and just based the food stuff off of my experience in kosher restaurants and brief google search so let me know if there's any mistakes or anything like that, thank you!!
> 
> well, all in all, i hope you enjoyed my latest installment of 'the fic i wrote because my brain associates everything with falsettos and the urge was too strong and i try to be funny but also deep and that means i end up half-assing both but hope i'm at least entertaining some people', so yeah :)


	8. while i die.

Trina ran away. Trina _always_ ran away. From her worries, her problems, her fears, and honestly, the list just goes on. She knew what was going on between Marvin and Whizzer; she wasn’t blind, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t that small part of her that still hoped she had a chance with him. Marvin, Marvin, Marvin.

Why couldn’t she have a chance with him, with the guy that she met at a department store on a Saturday afternoon out? They’d clicked that first moment together, hadn’t they?

Trina couldn’t have been the only one that felt it. It was there, that connection, and she’d felt it again every time they texted or called. Marvin _had_ to have felt it too. 

Their calls couldn’t have just meant nothing to him. Right?

But Marvin picked _him_. Whizzer. Whizzer Brown. And could she really blame him?

Trina was pretty. Really, really, really pretty. She was beautiful and gorgeous and lovely and delightful. But next to Whizzer, she didn’t feel that way. Trina once was confident. But that was a long time ago. People grew up, matured, and the world was hardly a kind place. 

They were different people, Trina knew, different styles, different walks of life, different in much too many ways for Trina to identify. But she still compared herself to him. 

Didn’t everyone?

Didn’t everyone find someone they thought they were falling in love with and then meet the person **they** are falling for and compare themselves to that person? Maybe, maybe not. 

Trina still wanted a chance with him, after all that. She wasn’t foolish enough to think she had one, but still foolish enough to dream. 

And what better time to dream than when you were leaving (read: running away from) the apartment of your crush - could Trina call how she felt about Marvin a crush? She didn’t know - the night after a sleepover? 

And so Trina wondered, just for a moment, what it would take for the word _‘Marvin’_ to lose its meaning. How many times would she have to think his name? Marvin, Marvin, Marvin…

Would she lose his feelings for him, when the word lost its’ meaning? She truly hoped so.

It’s not like Marvin was going to come running after her, telling her that he felt the same way that she did. He wasn’t going to run after her, calling her name until she turned around and they would kiss, in the middle of the street. This wasn’t a movie, and if it was, _she_ wasn’t the one who got the guy. Marvin would never, _ever_ kiss her. 

Trina just had to learn to accept that so that she could move on. 

And Marvin didn’t come running after her, nor did Cordelia or Charlotte. But…

“Wait up, please,” Mendel basically panted out, “slow down, I’m not the Flash,” Mendel did. 

So, she did. She stopped, stood there and waited for him to catch up to her.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Hi,” she said back, then continued walking, this time with Mendel by her side. Mendel, who didn’t say anything, just gave her company. Mendel, the curly haired guy who bumped into her with a box of hats the day she met Marvin. 

The guy she talked to for hours the night before, just him, her and...

Whizzer. Whizzer, who was running towards Trina and Mendel, yelling out their names. Trina wanted to keep going, but Mendel stopped. And so she did too. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Whizzer asked, falling in step with the two others. 

“Not really, no,” 

“Do you want to go out for falafel? Or ice cream?” 

“I could do falafel, yeah,” Trina almost smiled. Almost.

“But we just ate-” Mendel whined out. 

“You don’t have to come,” Trina almost didn’t notice Whizzer sending Mendel a ‘look’ as he spoke. Once again, almost. That didn’t mean she knew what that _look_ meant. 

“No, fine, I’m coming, okay?” 

“Good,” Whizzer said, and Trina could quite literally hear the smirk in his voice. 

And that was the first of their hangouts together, just the three of them. Trina was scared that they would talk about Marvin, but Mendel was careful to avoid any mention of Mr. Marvin. 

So they talked. They talked and they ate. About books and movies and shows and families and friends and fears and everything but Marvin, really. Of course, there were several little things that reminded Trina of Marvin, but she did her best to _ignore_ it. 

Whizzer talked a lot about Cordelia, something he and Trina really bonded on - especially as she wasn’t seven feet away this time. Mendel and Whizzer had their history, and Trina was more than happy to just watch them interact and listen to their inside jokes. Honestly. 

Trina knew that she couldn’t avoid mentions of Marvin forever, but she didn’t think - no, that isn’t true, she had _hoped_ \- that it would be Whizzer to bring him up. Especially not like _that_. 

She knew that Marvin...had some sort of feelings for Whizzer, but she didn’t expect…

“ _You_ like...Marvin?” Mendel voiced Trina’s thoughts for her, almost as if he could read her mind. Or perhaps it was just reasonable to be shocked at the news. 

Whizzer couldn’t have a crush on Marvin, could he? Trina liked Marvin, but she had a type. A type that she didn’t expect _him_ to share with her. They were just so...different. 

“Don’t be a fool, I don’t like him,” Trina did everything she could to avoid sighing out in relief at Whizzer’s words, “I just think he looks nice. I don’t want a _relationship_ with him.” 

Of course he didn’t. Because Whizzer didn't 'do' emotional connections. And Trina did. It was pretty much all that she did.

She fell fast and she fell hard. Even when she shouldn’t. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i kind of realized halfway through this (shorter) chapter that i don't have any of that good ol' mutual pining so,,,, *that eyes emoji i can't do but i know you know what i mean*
> 
> i hope you liked this chapter and stay safe! 
> 
> (anyways i've caved,,,here's my tumblr account promo:)
> 
> feel free follow me on tumblr at @iwasthatoddfangirl
> 
> :)


	9. just polyester.

They kept hanging out, the three of them. And sometimes Trina couldn’t make it, leaving the two people-who-hooked-up-multiple-times together. Sometimes Whizzer couldn’t make it, leaving Mendel and Trina, two extremely nervous and self-conscious people together, alone. 

It was rare that Mendel couldn’t make it though, very rare. Because usually, things didn’t ‘just come up’ for him all of the sudden. He honoured his commitments and memorized his work schedule, so he always knew when he wasn’t able to make it. Well, almost always. 

The first time he ever wasn’t able to make it was because of a ‘family emergency’, a card that Trina and Whizzer never pulled because they weren’t in contact with their families, even if it was only for a limited period of time.

Of which there were six weeks left, for Trina. It’d been three weeks since the summer started, and about two and a half since she’d met Marvin and Whizzer and Mendel. 

Ever since that day, when they chased after her, the three of them had an unbreakable bond. Well, as much of an unbreakable bond as three people could have when it ‘clicked’ when more than one of them were hungover and all three of them were under the age of twenty. 

She still lived with Cordelia and Charlotte, but they usually just stayed home, watching TV together, when Trina went out. When Trina stayed in, Cordelia and Charlotte went out - sometimes together, sometimes with Whizzer, often inviting her to come with them, but Trina declined, always too tired out. 

After all, she spent more than half her days with Whizzer and Mendel, and more than every other night talking to Marvin. The calls never stopped, nor did the texts. 

And she didn’t tell anyone. She never mentioned that she and Marvin still talked, but never actually hung out in person. Why would she? Trina wanted what she had with Marvin to be her little secret. Besides, she didn’t want to get her hopes up. She already knew that he didn’t feel that way about her and just wanted to hold on to what was left of her fantasy. 

Just because Marvin liked Whizzer in a way that he’d never like Trina didn’t mean that he didn’t like Trina. Or so, Trina hoped. 

The first time Mendel couldn’t make it, he’d announced it barely an hour and a half before they were supposed to meet up. Trina was already mentally prepared to hang out with people, so she wasn’t going to cancel now, and Whizzer said that he’d already started on his hair and wasn’t going to just  _ not  _ go out. 

That day marked the first day that Trina and Whizzer hung out -alone - since the sleepover. 

They didn’t really know where to hang out and decided to just go with something that came up as they went. Whizzer drove, for the reason that he was older. 

“By four months, Whizzer,” Trina argued, though light-heartedly. 

“Four months and  _ sixteen days _ , thank you very much,” Whizzer returned, his gaze completely fixed on the road. 

“Does that mean I’ll die at  _ least _ sixteen days after you?” 

“ _ That _ ’s the first thing that came to mind,”

“Well, yeah,” Trina sheepishly admitted, before crossing her arms and slouching, in an attempt to make herself invisible. It’s fine, this was fine, she could just-

“You okay?” Whizzer actually turned and faced her, as the reached a red light. 

“I’m just...peachy,” 

“Okay,” Whizzer trailed off, probably unsure of how to change the subject. 

Trina began to rack her brain for any conversation points they’d shared, but hadn’t any luck. Whizzer, on the other hand, did come up for something to talk about. 

And this something was something that Trina knew  _ quite _ well, if she did say so herself. Marvin. Whizzer said that he didn’t  _ like _ Marvin, to her and Mendel, Trina couldn’t forget that, but Whizzer definitely admitted that he thought Marvin was...attractive. 

Trina just didn’t think he was going to do or  _ say _ anything about it, especially to Trina. First off all, they weren’t particularly close in a way to talk of romantic (or sexual, was it?) prospects with each other. Second of all, she was Trina. Not exactly the best person to talk to for this. 

“If Mendel were here, he’d tease you for having a crush on him,” Trina said, trying to avoid all personal aspects of this conversation. Whizzer would deny it, back-track and stop talking about this. It was a perfect plan. Trina smiled, looking up at Whizzer. 

“I’m starting to think that he wouldn’t be wrong,” Well then. That’s fun. And by fun, that meant that it felt like there was something eating at Trina, from the inside.If they lived inside the human body. And ate human tissue and-yeah, Trina didn’t want to think about that. 

Whizzer put the car in park, and started to get out. Trina just sat there. Completely frozen. 

“ _ You _ have a crush on  _ Marvin _ ?” Trina finally blurted out as she exited her brief state of shock.

“I think I  _ might _ , yes.”

“Why?” Good going Trina, as if you don’t have a crush on Marvin too. 

“I mean, well, he’s kind of cute, his hair looks soft, he’s sweet but mean, he’s funny, he’s direct, he has  _ money _ , a nice place,” Whizzer started to trail off. “I’m too far gone, aren’t I?”

With every passing second, Trina regretted asking that three-letter word question more and more. She guessed that she’d hoped that she and Whizzer had liked Marvin for  _ different _ reasons, and hoped that would make it easier. It wouldn’t have, but she still hoped. 

Was it hoping or pretending? The way that she was creating a mental facade, a version of reality so much ‘better’ than her own, that is. 

“Yeah, yeah, you are,” Trina forced a smile and laugh. 

“So,” Whizzer clapped his hands together, in an attempt to change the energy. “Instead of talking about this guy who’d never like me  _ like that _ , you know, because he has everything and I’m just-” he trailed off, “let’s go somewhere, have fun,”

Whizzer thought Marvin didn’t like him. Whizzer thought Marvin didn’t like him. Whizzer thought Marvin didn’t like him. Whizzer- well, of all things that Trina thought she’d be doing this summer, playing matchmaker was certainly not one of them. 

“Where? A movie theatre, a pet store, a supermarket-” Trina started.

“A pet store?” Whizzer asked.

“I’ve been thinking of getting a cat,” Trina explained. 

“Really? That’d be amazing - and a reason for me to come over to your apartment unannounced. Don’t tell Delia, but I miss her.”

“My lips are sealed,” Trina said, the words leaving her mouth before she could even think. 

And so they went into the pet store, looked around at all the animals and just talked about animals, they didn’t overcomplicate things. They just enjoyed each other’s company. 

“I’m hungry,” Whizzer complained, after a cat had climbed out of his lap. 

“Me too,” Trina said, coaxing that same cat to let her pet it. 

“Want to grab a bite somewhere?” 

Trina did, and they had lunch. They talked, they laughed, and she absently realized why Marvin liked Whizzer. After all, how could he  _ not _ ?

Next, they went into a mall, for the reason that Whizzer claimed was needing new clothes. Trina decided not to complain, after all, what harm could come from a shopping spree?

That question was answered very quickly. A lot of damage to her self-esteem, is what harm could come from it. And it wasn’t Whizzer’s fault, per se. 

It was just-

Whizzer was pretty. Trina knew that, Marvin knew that, Mendel knew that, Cordelia knew that, Charlotte knew that. It wasn’t  _ news _ . But him being  _ pretty _ meant that he attracted attention. People wanted to  _ look _ at him, to admire him. 

And with Whizzer standing next to her, no one spared a second glance at Trina. 

Hell, no one even looked at her to begin with. In her eyes, she was just...plain. 

But at least she still had Marvin’s sweater, the one he said looked better on her than him. 

Whizzer too, was wearing a sweater, the same one he’d been wearing that night, before Marvin gave her hers. It seemed warm, cozy...comforting. 

“Nice sweater,” she said, looking up at Whizzer’s face. 

“Thanks,” Whizzer grinned, “I stole it from Marvin,”

He must have noticed the look on Trina’s face - the one that she didn’t even know that she was making - because he continued. 

“Well, no, actually, he gave it to me, but it’s-”

“Just polyester,” Trina finished with him. 

“How’d you know?” 

“So’s mine,” Trina fumbled with her sleeves. “He doesn’t have the best taste in clothes,”

“No, he does not,” Whizzer chuckled, “that’s why I’m friends with you,  _ you _ , have a good taste in clothing. Perhaps not like mine, but you’re pretty.”

Trina couldn’t help but whisper back, “you too,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, so, i've had approximately one (1) crush - and relationship - in my entire life,,,so i did my best for the pining/mutual pining/crushing stuff,,,so at least i tried??
> 
> feel free to let me know if this was good/bad/meh/amazing/the best thing you've ever read/terrible ngl/the worst thing you've ever read.


	10. i'll die anyway.

Trina kept hanging out with Mendel and Whizzer, living with Charlotte and Cordelia, all while keeping up a constant schedule of calling Marvin. 

Marvin, who, in the past week alone, called her on twelve _separate_ occasions. He talked and he talked and he talked, but Trina didn’t mind, not really. She liked the sound of his voice. 

The main thing going on with him was that his little brother was coming to visit him. 

Marvin and his little brother, who Trina couldn’t remember the name of, had always been pretty close to each other, but Marvin hadn’t talked to his brother in a very long time and was nervous, to say the very least. 

Trina had offered to stop by, because she liked Marvin - and was learning to like him as _just_ a friend - and because she liked children, but he said that he’d got it covered, as if he hadn’t spent twenty hours in the past week _alone_ ranting to her about his little brother. 

And of course, Trina knew who _else_ was going to be there, without Marvin even having to say that there would be anyone else there. Whizzer Brown. It was _always_ Whizzer Brown. 

Whizzer, who was falling for Marvin just as Marvin had fallen for him. And if they weren’t too blind to see it (which Trina fiercely doubted, for the record), they were most certainly too blind (and/or scared) to actually do something about it. 

Trina groaned, both inwardly and outwardly, finally admitting to herself that she was going to be forced to play matchmaker and wingman for them both. 

Charlotte, who was at the table reading, looked up questioningly at Trina for a second, before looking back down. 

“Want to watch some TV with us?” Cordelia offered, taking a tin of muffins out of the oven. Muffins being a very loose term. Very, very lose indeed. At least they were in the shape of muffins? Nevermind, that was just part of the cooling process. Apparently. 

“Why not?” Trina curled herself into that fold-out chair on the side, her hands somewhat awkwardly placed in her lap. 

“Stop,” Cordelia said, in a tone harsher than she’d used in months. “That’s not comfortable,” Cordelia continued. “Come here,” She patted the spot next to her on the couch. 

Charlotte, who had found her way into the seat next to Cordelia, passed Trina a bag, a smile on her face. Cordelia started the show, and Trina opened the bag. 

Inside, there were snacks. So many snacks. As much as Trina loved Cordelia, that love did not transfer into Cordelia’s food. Because it was objectively pretty fucking terrible.

And for just a couple of hours, when the three girls were curled onto the couch, Trina was at peace. She wasn’t thinking about Marvin or Whizzer, wishing that someone felt the same way about her as they did about each other. 

It was the first time in a while that she wasn’t absently longing to be the awake, alert, and healthy Whizzer Brown, who always had his shit together. In Trina’s eyes, at least. 

***

Eventually, Jason was gone and Marvin wanted to talk to Trina again. In person, too. 

It was almost the end of July; Trina wanted to have some fun. 

They met at Marvin’s apartment one night, with they being the six, trying to make plans and find a place for them all to hang out that _wasn’t_ Marvin’s apartment. 

They were too awkward for a bar or party and too loud for a coffee shop or a park and none of them could agree on the other suggestions. But when Whizzer suggested going out to an all-day breakfast place, at four in the afternoon, no one could really say anything against it. 

The group of six walked in together, Charlotte and Cordelia standing arm in arm, Mendel standing alone, talking their ears off. 

Cordelia forced a smile, “that’s cool, Mendel, thank you,” 

“Char, did I tell you about that time I ran into a tree, thinking it was a person?” Mendel started, and Charlotte nodded, obviously just hoping that the six of them could be able to get a table to sit down. 

While Mendel was talking to one pair, Trina was watching the other. 

Marvin and Whizzer were standing, in silence, next to each other, and they seemed like just friends. That was, until you looked down at their hands. 

Whizzer stood, holding Marvin’s hand. 

But before Trina had the time to stare, they were seated. Cordelia next to Charlotte, Whizzer next to Marvin; the boys on one side and the girls on another. 

So Trina had a clear view of both Marvin and Whizzer. Hooray. 

They ordered their food. Cordelia and Whizzer shared a look, and respective smile, as they both ordered sprinkle pancakes with whipped cream. 

Marvin seemed disappointed in Whizzer and Cordelia’s choices of dessert for dinner, going on to order a kale breakfast salad. 

“You’re no fun,” Whizzer whined, but it was lighthearted. 

“You’re fun enough for both of us,” Marvin joked, leaving everyone (but Whizzer) confused. 

They ordered and ate in peace - for the most part - simply enjoying one another’s company. 

Until Mendel finished and began telling one of his stories. And while he was droning on, Trina was zoning out, until she noticed Marvin’s arm around her shoulder. 

Was it cold in there or was it just her? If only Trina brought a sweater to the restaurant.

Instead, she watched Whizzer - and his warm smile - hoping that it would give her the same feeling. It did, of course. She cared about him (and him about her), so it made her happy to see him happy. He seemed to have that effect on people. He was such an angel, wasn’t he?

He smiled, he laughed, he talked, and he kept _everyone_ intrigued. He was just so perfect, too perfect, even. Trina didn’t hate him, she couldn’t. He was just so damn happy, Trina couldn’t help but be a little mad at him. 

But it wasn’t his fault, not even in the slightest. Marvin wasn’t hers to begin with. Marvin wasn’t anyone’s. And yet, as Marvin was too enthralled by Whizzer to even notice Trina enough to say hello, there was a small part of her that blamed Whizzer. 

It was the part of her that blamed Whizzer for why Marvin wouldn’t pay attention to her. The rest of her knew that it wasn’t Whizzer’s fault, and that Marvin would  _ always  _ be Marvin, even if it was a fragmented version of himself, but that tiny part of her wasn’t convinced. 

And so, she just kind of wished that Whizzer was dead. 

Not for the first time either, she hated to admit to herself. But it was true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me while writing/briefly reading over this (i'd call it editing but there's SOO many mistakes oh my i am so sorry): i just wish there was more of the lesbians and jason :'(
> 
> me @ myself: you do know that you're the writer and control what happens in this story
> 
> me @ me @ myself: i do w H a T now
> 
> anyways,,,,feel free to let me know if you liked/loved/disliked/absolutely detested (and want to wash your eyes out with bleach so you never have think about it again) this. :))
> 
> stay safe !!!


	11. it took some time, but i understand it now.

“Trina, I think that I’m in love,” Whizzer gushed, one August day as he and Trina were out, wandering the city blocks together, enjoying the somewhat bearable August heat.

“You say that every week,” Trina dismissed. 

“No, but I’m serious this time,” 

“Uh-huh,” 

“I’m telling you, I am in love with this Belgian waffle. I swear to, well, whoever you want me to swear to, I’ll swear to them. I’m that serious.” 

“Okay,”

The pair kept walking, not even saying a single word to each other as Trina sipped on an iced coffee while Whizzer devoured the Belgian waffle he just declared his love to. 

Trina was tired. Very tired. Actually, tired couldn't even begin to cover it. Trina was exhausted. She just wished that she had gotten a reasonable amount of sleep the night before. But when did Trina ever get what she wished for?

Eventually, Trina finished the coffee. She silently hoped that the wonderfully magical effects of caffeine would kick in sooner, rather than later as she and Whizzer stopped to dispose of their garbage. 

"I'm in love," Whizzer repeated, whimsically as his eyes remained trained on the garbage can that had swallowed his napkin and Trina's cup. 

"I know, Whizzer, you already said that you're in love with the waffle." Yeah, no, Trina was still tired. Hooray. 

"No, I mean yes, but no. This is serious." Whizzer scrambled out. 

"I thought you said you were serious about the waffle thing?" Trina looked up at Whizzer to see that he was a mess. There was a tired, almost faraway look in his eyes, the bags around them duller than a grey sky and something about him that just made it seem like he let go of himself, as the person he made himself out to be. What a sight to walk by, he was. 

He almost seemed lost or scared, and seeing him that way made Trina want to die. 

She couldn't decide if she wanted to be him or help him, and that scared her. 

To her, Whizzer was always a perfect picture of the model or ideal person, or at least something like that. But Whizzer, she was learning, was actually someone human. And being human meant having flaws and going through hardships. Things that Trina hadn't realized Whizzer could go through. Because in her eyes, he wasn't a human being. 

And she was mad at herself, for not seeing him as one earlier. Because it meant that she was just one of the thousands of others, who objectified him and refused to know and see any more of him than they wanted to. And Whizzer just let them. 

But Trina didn't want to be just one of a thousand others; she wanted to be the  _ only  _ one of a thousand others. Not for herself, but for Whizzer. She decided that she couldn't let her jealousy get in the way of seeing Whizzer as a human person. 

He needed her, so she was going to be there for him. 

"What's wrong? Please, Whizzer, tell me," Trina said, hoping that she hadn't zoned out for too long. 

"I'm in love with Marvin," Whizzer said as if he was a writer talking about murder and ways to hide the body. And then he took a deep breath. "And I told him. Yesterday." 

Trina almost yelled what, but it took less than a quarter of a second for everything to just...click. Yeah, that made sense. It all made so much sense. It almost seemed like there were hundreds of pieces falling into place around her. 

Whizzer told Marvin, a man that he'd known for about a month, that he loved him, and then ran out of the apartment and away from Marvin. That's why Marvin had called her hours before he usually did. That's why Marvin had seemed like he was in shock. That's why Marvin sounded like he was on the verge of tears. That's why Marvin almost sounded like he was crying. That's why Marvin audibly winced at any mention of the word love or any word that was similar in the slightest. 

Because Marvin loved Whizzer but he was too scared to say it. And Whizzer ran away before Marvin could say or do anything. So now he thought that Marvin didn't feel the same way. When he most certainly did. God, were they fucking blind?

Why couldn't they deal with their own feelings without the help of an eighteen-year-old? Trina was pretty much still a child, one who knew nothing about love, but there she was. Doing her best to...help them figure it all out. Whatever that meant. 

Why couldn't these two literal fucking adults deal with their own fucking feelings without the help of a fucking eighteen-year-old? So maybe it seemed as though Trina was mad or angry or malcontented or disgruntled whatever but she wasn't. She was just tired, and maybe a  _ bit  _ disappointed. 

She just had to take a deep breath and remind herself that Marvin didn't like her like that. That Marvin would never like her like that. He was never, ever going to kiss her, because this wasn't a rom-com and even if it was, she wasn't the main character. 

She was just  _ that  _ friend, the one who knew that they liked each other before they realized it themselves. The comic relief character, usually, but not in Trina's case, she didn't think. She was more that side character with several implied issues that are never touched upon or dealt with in any way shape or form. You know the type. 

She had to remind herself that beauty was a social construct, one that deemed certain features as universally 'unattractive', when that couldn't have been farther from the truth. She reminded herself that Marvin gave both of them sweaters and he cared about both of them. Just differently. It didn't matter what the sweater was made of, it mattered that he cared enough about them to give it. 

And so what if Marvin liked Whizzer better? Why did she have to be pitted against him in the first place? She cared about both Marvin and Whizzer, in different ways, so who's to say that Marvin didn't feel the same about her and Whizzer?

So yeah, Trina realized that she didn't want to be Whizzer. She wanted to be there  _ for  _ him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't know it was possible for me to love, be proud of and absolutely detest something i've written this much at the exact same time.
> 
> so, my dearest readers, i hope that you only feel the first thing when you read this :))


	12. my light in the storm.

Trina went home. Not to her parents; she didn’t even think of that old suburban house as home anymore, if she was being honest with herself, but to Charlotte and Cordelia. 

Her very best friends in the entire world. The ones who were always, and that really does mean _always_ , there for her. And yet it felt like she hadn’t talked to them in months. In reality, it had only been about a week or two. 

She walked into the apartment to see Cordelia and Charlotte together, as Cordelia was lying on the couch with her head in Charlotte’s lap. Like the night they went out to a bar, Trina thought to herself. But this time, both of them were completely awake. Meaning that both of them saw Trina walking into the apartment. 

Trina was thinking about trying to just sneak past the pair, but they'd already...

"Trina, hi, how are you?" Cordelia jumped up, almost bumping her head into Charlotte's shoulder. 

"Good, fine," Trina tried to smile to prove her point, but she just looked constipated. 

"No you're not," Charlotte said, patting the spot on the couch next to her in an attempt to get Trina to sit down. It worked and Trina did, in fact, sit down. Cordelia sat down on Trina's other side and put an arm around her, letting Trina rest her head on Cordelia's shoulder. 

"Fine, okay, I'm not," Trina almost whispered out, but luckily the two girls had heard it so Trina didn't have to repeat it. "And you're gonna make me talk about it since, according to you two, I have an 'internalizing my feelings problem', so here it goes."

Trina took a deep breath, careful not to look too much into Cordelia or Charlotte's peering faces, to prevent her from getting too distracted by her (over)thinking to function. 

"Marvin's in love with Whizzer and Whizzer's in love with Marvin and Marvin's too scared to tell Whizzer how he feels and Whizzer thinks that Marvin doesn't love him and I think I love Marvin too," she blurted out. 

"That's a lot, isn't it?" Cordelia joked, hoping to lighten the mood. Charlotte hit her arm instead, lightly though. 

Trina took another deep breath and it was as if she forgot how to breathe in the few seconds since she started speaking. "The thing is that I don't love Marvin in the way that I thought I did."

Charlotte looked as though she was thinking about saying something, but ended up choosing to just stay silent and let Trina continue. 

"I thought I wanted to be with him, romantically, doing all the romance-y stuff. But I don't. I love him like a brother, and, you Cordelia, you love Whizzer like a brother. It's like that. You hate them at times, you love them at others. You're often overwhelmed by an inexplicable urge to murder them. You know what I mean?"

Cordelia laughed at that, and it seemed as though Charlotte couldn't help but smile at that. "I know exactly what you mean," 

"So what do I do?" Trina asked, finally going back to the problem at hand. Whatever that was. 

"You're asking us?" Charlotte was hard to surprise. Very hard to surprise, but right then, she looked as though she were in shock. 

"I don't know!" Trina breathed out, standing up from the couch and starting to pace around the small living room. "I don't know anything at all, what to do, what to say, how to act. Good god, it would be _so_ much easier if I was someone else, you know?"

"I'd tell you to calm the fuck down but I think you just need to let it all out," Cordelia joked, encouraging Trina to keep talking and stop asking them questions that they didn't have the answers to.

"I'm just saying, why did I have to be me?" She gestured - probably a bit too aggressively - at herself, her arms undulating her body, "why couldn't I have been someone else? Like Whizzer, why couldn't I have just been Whizzer? I mean, I don't want to be him specifically, rather just, be the idea of him. The guy that _everyone_ likes, the pretty one, who's smart and funny and a bit of a pushover, but hey, he's less of a pushover than me. The guy who's nice, but mean. He's kind of like Marvin that way, I guess. It kind of makes them so alluring and interesting. It makes people care for them and about them. And I want that, I guess. To be alluring, fascinating, for people to _care_ about me."

"People do care about you, Trina," Cordelia said, upon realizing that Trina was finally done her little rant. Cordelia was holding in a smile too, as she said that. Of course, she was still smiling, but she was smiling a kind smile, not a proud one. Then hadn't been the right time for Cordelia to show that she was proud of Trina speaking her mind, speaking out about her feelings. There were other times for other things, she knew. 

And so saying or doing anything that would imply that as much as she loved Trina before, she loved that Trina was growing and becoming someone stronger, because for Trina, becoming someone stronger meant that she became someone who didn't avoid or internalize their feelings. 

"It's just different, I guess. But since I can't be Whizzer, nor do I really want to, I should probably help him and Marvin, right?"

So Trina was still growing and changing. The old Trina hadn't just disappeared. 

"Do you want to? Do you feel like it's the right thing to do?" Charlotte questioned. 

"Yeah, I do. Whizzer-Whizzer's really someone. I wish I were him, but then again, I don't think I'd be able to handle being him and all the little things that we, as outsiders, don't see. We're similar, kind of, but really, I just want him to be happy. And I think that Marvin can make him happy, so yeah, I do want to and I do feel like it's the right thing to do."

"Okay." Charlotte said. 

"Okay?" Cordelia asked. 

"Yes, okay. Do it. Play matchmaker."

Trina clapped her hands together, in excitement. "Great!" She then paused, the expression on her face morphing into something a little less...positive. "How do I do that?"

Charlotte and Cordelia shared a look, one that Trina barely noticed. Barely, but she did. Notice it, that is. 

"What? Oh, right. What do you know about romantic relationships? I'm the hopeless romantic of the group, aren't I?"

"I wouldn't exactly say hopeless-" Cordelia started. 

"What do we know about romantic relationships? Really?" Charlotte nearly whispered her words out, as if she only wanted Cordelia to hear them. 

"Charlotte," Cordelia whispered back, her voice soft and excluding some kind of energy that Trina couldn't quite pinpoint. 

"No offence, I mean," Trina corrected herself. Or, at least, attempted to, she realized as she saw both Charlotte and Cordelia's faces fall. 

"I'm going to tell her," Charlotte said.

"You sure?" Cordelia's voice had the same energy as before, and once again, Trina couldn't quite name what it was. 

Charlotte whispered something back, but this time, Trina couldn't hear it. 

"Okay," Cordelia made eye contact with Trina.

"Cordelia and I," Charlotte started, "we're together. Like, dating. As girlfriends,"

"What?" Trina couldn't conceal her happiness, nor did she bother to. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" She stopped, realizing what that might've implicated. "Not like that, I just mean, I knew that you both had a crush on each other and thought it was unrequited or whatever. I don't know if you're good at hiding your relationship or I was just a really absent and terrible friend these past three or so weeks."

"I'd like to consider myself a talented actress," Cordelia tried to flip her hair for the effect, but really, it was too short and fluffy so nothing really came out of it. Charlotte giggled, in adoration of her girlfriend.

"As do I," Charlotte said, giving her girlfriend a quick peck on the lips.

"So this is why you told me. So that I could see that you do know about romance and so that I could see two people who are so in love and that know how to express themselves and their thoughts and feelings. Also known as two people in love who aren't low-key emotionally constipated."

"Right, I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you're our best friend and we both love you and want you to be involved in our lives or any stupid shit like that," Cordelia's words sounded like they were individually dipped into a jar of sarcasm, but in a nice, loving, kind, caring, friendly way. 

And so, her _girlfriend_ and her best friend couldn't help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three cheers for the lesbians, am i right? 
> 
> :)


	13. everything plays a part.

Charlotte and Cordelia agreed to help Trina play matchmaker. 

They could combine their skills. Charlotte and Cordelia were so in love, and God knows that they’d never let Trina forget it. The two were always cuddling or hugging or kissing or holding hands and Trina was just  _ so  _ happy for them, she couldn’t help but ignore how it got in the way of their actual matchmaking. And Trina loved love, so it really was a win-win. 

Or it would’ve been, if  _ anything _ that they thought of at all had worked. 

Obviously, it didn’t. 

Who could’ve predicted that the plans thought up by two lesbians (in love) and a hopeless romantic of a bisexual woman in the middle of the night, while definitely something other than sober, wouldn’t really work if they were trying to get a gay man, Whizzer, and Marvin, who’d never really cared to specify his sexuality, to admit their feelings to each other.

Trina, though the most hopeless romantic of the bunch - now confirmed by her lack of relationship - had decided, that maybe Marvin and Whizzer’s getting together wasn’t the best possible option. 

Maybe their pining - if mutual - was just that. Pining. 

Not everything had to go somewhere. 

But if they wanted it to, and were willing to work to make it work, it should be possible. 

Because they loved each other, as young and naive as they were. 

And that had to be worth something, didn’t it?

Eventually, Cordelia had convinced Whizzer to go shopping with her or...something. Cordelia hadn’t really specified what her plan was. 

Trina had offered to help with getting Marvin to a similar area so that she could be directly involved in the parent trap that  _ she  _ had plotted out, but it seemed as though both Charlotte and Cordelia could sense that wasn’t the best option for her. 

But when they realized that Jason was visiting Marvin again, her babysitting skills were put to use. She’d babysit Jason, Charlotte would go out with Marvin (and shop for school supplies or something like that, Trina didn’t really know what the two of  _ them  _ would do at a mall) and Cordelia would go clothes shopping with Whizzer. 

They’d ‘accidentally’ bump into each other in the food court, with Charlotte and Cordelia making some excuse to get them to talk to each other, alone. 

And of course Trina would be there, making sure that things ran as smoothly as they could. So if either of the boys needed a little prompting, what was Trina going to do,  _ not  _ give it to them? Yeah, there was absolutely  _ no  _ way that was happening. Sorry guys. 

Trina walked to Marvin’s apartment, since Charlotte and Cordelia refused to give her a ride and she had an inexplicable fear of public transportation. The thing with Trina is that her brain sometimes forgot to make links between this. 

As in, she’ll be aware of two facts that co-exist, which she is aware of, but she can’t make the final link between them. 

So she didn’t realize that when she was going over to  _ Marvin _ ’s apartment to babysit  _ Marvin’s  _ little brother, she would have to see  _ Marvin _ . That was, until she knocked on the door and the blue-eyed brown-haired nineteen year old answered the door. 

“Thank you so much for babysitting. My parents thought it’d be a good idea for him to spend the entire week with me, and God only knows how tired he is of me and Mendel and-” Marvin stopped himself before he could say  _ that  _ name. Charlotte and Cordelia really did have their work cut out for them. “You know what I mean. There’s a list with everything you need to know because Jason told me that if I were to tell you before I leave I’d most certainly forget something, and yeah, I think that’s it. Have fun, I guess.” 

“Uh, thanks,” He let Trina into the apartment right before he walked - or was he  _ running?  _ He couldn’t be, he wouldn’t be, right? - out. 

The apartment looked more or less the exact same as it had last time she’d been there, save for the little kid. Trina couldn’t remember how old he was, but he certainly didn’t look a day over ten years old. The little kid, Jason, was sitting on Marvin’s couch, trying to solve some sort of cube thing. 

“Jason, hi,” She greeted, walking over to the chair across from him. 

“You’re Trina, right?” 

“I sure am.”

“My brother talks about you.”

“He does?” Trina was genuinely taken aback. Marvin, talking about  _ her _ ? Why would he do that? Did he secretly hate her? Was he only using her? Did he complain about her to Jason-

“Yeah. He doesn’t speak highly of many people, you know.”

“I do,” Trina thought back to all the times that Marvin ranted to her about employees or bosses or random strangers on the internet. 

“But he likes you. He says you’re kind and compassionate and a good listener.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Do you want to play chess with me?” 

“You’re not going to solve the Rubik’s cube?”

“I forgot the last algorithm.” He explained. 

Trina smiled at that, “I always forget the second last one, but the last one I know. May I?” She extended her arm, and he gave her the cube. 

“I haven’t met many people who can solve Rubik’s cubes.” Jason watched Trina complete the algorithm, barely even looking at it. 

“Have you met many people who like to play chess?” 

“No.”

“Then you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd,” Trina set down the now-solved Rubik’s cube. “Shall we?”

Jason turned the board so they could play. “Sure.” 

So it turned out that Jason liked to play chess alone. In fact, he preferred it. He didn’t tell Trina this, of course, but it was evident in the way he played. 

He didn’t particularly seem to like that he couldn’t predict what she was going to do, but after the first game - which Trina won - he seemed to have grasped her playing strategy. 

“I think chess is the most beautiful thing in the world,” Jason sighed out after they finished their fifth game, the third of which that Jason had won.

“And I think love is.” Trina combatted. 

Jason groaned. “You’re just like my brother,”

“I am?” 

“He’s a hopeless romantic,” Jason explained. “He’s in love with the idea of being in love, but he’s too scared to pursue it.”

“And he told you all of this?”

“Not on purpose, of course.”

“Someone needs to lock that liquor cabinet. Especially because he’s a nineteen-year-old living alone. What kind of nineteen-year-old has a liquor cabinet?” Trina was fighting the urge to ransack Marvin’s drawers for a lock. 

“At least it’s not a wine cellar.” Jason joked. 

“Do people even have wine cellars anymore?” Trina asked, though the question wasn’t really directed at anyone. Except for Google, maybe. 

Jason only shrugged in response. 

“So how do you know all this?” Trina asked, now sitting on the couch, opposite from Jason. 

“I read his diary,”

Trina was glad that she wasn’t drinking anything at that moment, otherwise she would’ve most definitely spit it out. “Marvin, Mr. Manly Marvin, has a diary?”

“Well of course  _ he  _ doesn’t call it  _ that,”  _ Jason explained.

Trina motioned for Jason to continue, but he didn’t seem to understand the gesture. “Go on,” she explained, and a smile could be heard in her voice. 

“Oh, okay, yeah, I will,” Jason matched her smile. He kind of looked like her, almost, Trina thought as he smiled before starting again. “It’s really just his notes app. And it was a complete accident. He asked me to copy down the grocery list from somewhere else and he accidentally unlocked the wrong note and I didn’t realize until it was too late,”

“And he didn’t realize at all,”

“Of course not. He’s oblivious as fuck.” 

“Language,” Trina scolded, on instinct. 

“I’m not wrong though, am I?” Jason asked, though Trina was certain he knew the answer. 

“You’re not, you’re not wrong at all,” 

“Good.”

“Good?”

“So we agree.”

“That Marvin’s oblivious?”

“As fuck, yes,” Jason said, grinning ear to ear as he swore. 

“Don’t tell Marvin or your parents that I let you get away with swearing.”

“Pinky promise?”

“You believe in that stuff?” 

“No.”

“So what’s your point. About your brother being oblivious as fuck and all,”

“He’s so oblivious he doesn’t even recognize his own feelings,” Jason explained. 

“What are you talking about?” Did Jason...did he  _ know _ ?

“I thought it was obvious,” Jason seemed genuinely confused. 

“You mean,” Trina paused, trying to get the words together. “You know?”

“Of course I know. I have eyes, you know.”

“That’s more than we can say about Marvin,” Trina murmured, just loud enough for Jason to hear the joke. 

He let out a light chuckle, and as he did, Trina’s heart was warmed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you get some jason!! you get some jason!!  
> everybody gets some jason!!!!
> 
> wow this is dialogue heavy at the end,,,,i hope you like it (?)
> 
> it's almost the end my dearest cowards,,,,you ready?
> 
> ;)


	14. i am no one's exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mention of HIV

If Jason - a twelve year old, Trina soon learned - could tell that  _ Marvin  _ was in love but too scared to do anything about it, Marvin definitely needed  _ all  _ the help he could get. 

“Where are we going?” Jason asked as Trina locked the apartment door behind them. 

“To get your brother to recognize, accept and  _ do  _ something about his feelings.”

“Oh. Okay. That sounds good.” 

“Good.”

“So what’s the plan? Like, what are we doing to get him to recognize, accept and do something about his feelings?” 

“That, my friend, is a  _ very  _ good question.” Trina joked, “but honestly, I’m not certain. Charlotte - you know Charlotte right?”

Jason nodded, and so Trina continued.

“Charlotte’s hanging out with Marvin right now, at the mall. Meanwhile Cordelia - you know her too, right?” 

“I know  _ of  _ her,” Jason clarified.

“That’s good enough, I guess. Well, she’s out with Whizzer. At the very same mall,”

“And my brother doesn’t know Whizzer’s there?”

Trina nods. “And Whizzer doesn’t know that your brother is there.” 

“Like The Parent Trap. The movie,”

“Exactly like The Parent Trap, well, except for the fact that they were never married, and we’re not their kids and there’s no help involved. Or other woman, or-”

“Yeah, I get the point.”

“Thanks,”

“So are we going to go to the mall anytime soon or…” Jason trailed off. 

“Yes,” Trina clapped her hands together (a little too) excitedly. “We are. Now. I don’t have a car though, so we’re going to have to walk.”

“You’re scared of the bus?” Jason asked, like one would ask about the weather. 

“Yeah,” Trina was sheepish in her reply, but not enough so Jason could notice. 

“Me too,” Jason said, a small smile on his face. 

Yeah. Trina  _ really  _ liked the kid. 

So if Charlotte and Cordelia’s goal was to get Marvin and Whizzer to talk, then Trina and Jason’s goal was to get Charlotte and Cordelia to get Marvin and Whizzer to talk. 

“So, are we just like, spying on them?” 

“Kind of,” Trina answered, looking around for any of the four people  _ she  _ made go to the mall. 

“You’re still looking for them, aren’t you?” 

“Aren’t you?”

“No.” 

Trina almost asked why, but decided against it in favour of following Jason’s line of sight. 

And there they were, the two childhood family friends. Mr and Miss Brown. 

“When was the last time you talked to Whizzer?” Trina asked, hoping she wasn’t asking too personal or sensitive of a question. 

“Before-before it happened,”

“Before Whizzer ran out? And your brother spent like thirty hours on call with me?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I meant by  _ it _ .”

“I just wanted to make sure,” Trina clarified. “There’s your brother, by the way, so we should hide before  _ he  _ sees  _ us _ .” 

“Good idea,” Jason and Trina turned, hiding behind a wall and began to act like they were at the mall to shop, not to spy. 

And so Marvin didn’t see them. Marvin - and Charlotte, who was by his side, just listening to him talk - just kept walking. 

But Cordelia did. As did Whizzer. They were people watchers, so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise. She’d spent hours with both of them, individually, just walking around and watching people, joking about their stories and what they were saying. 

Luckily for both Jason and Trina, Whizzer and Cordelia weren’t too noticeable when they walked over to the babysitter and the not-baby. 

“Trina, long time no see. Jason, hello! How are you?” Whizzer greeted, a smile on his face. 

“I’m fine,” Jason grumbled out, as Trina merely waved. 

Whizzer and Cordelia exchanged a look, and she heard Cordelia clearing her throat. “Jason, I’ve been wanting to buy a chess set for a while, but I can never figure out which ones are good, can you come help me pick one out?” 

“Really?” Jason brightened at the mention of chess; Cordelia nodded. “Yes, I can come help you pick one out.”

And then they walked away. Leaving Trina alone with Whizzer. For the first time since…

She’d thought about this a lot, confronting Whizzer or Marvin or both, whether it was together or apart. With all her matchmaking plans, how could she  _ not _ ? 

But Trina also did a lot of  _ self _ -reflecting. Because the way that she had always been there for Marvin and Whizzer was both emotionally and physically draining. 

It was part of the reason why she’d barely talked to Mendel. Barely meaning that they text each other once every few days for five or so minutes. 

She was just so fucking exhausted, and not in the way that sleep could fix. 

“Hi,” she said instead.

“I wanted to apologize,” Trina blinked a few times, trying to determine whether or not this was real. Spoiler alert: it was. 

“Oh?” She said instead, hoping it encouraged him to elaborate. Because she had no idea what he could possibly be apologizing for. Of course, being there for him was tiring, but he was there for her, more than Marvin ever was. 

And yet she couldn’t even find it in her heart to blame Marvin. It seemed as though love made people blind, no matter whether it was platonic or not. 

“Yeah. You’re not my therapist, you’re my friend. It’s not your responsibility to deal with my problems for me. I took advantage of you.”

Huh. That was...something. 

“I also lied,” Whizzer continued. “Well, I didn’t  _ lie _ , I guess.” He was starting to get nervous, Trina remarked to herself. “I just didn’t tell you the full truth, ironically, since I was like,  _ super  _ open with you. More open than I’ve ever been with anyone in my life.” 

Trina wanted to say something, but she couldn’t find the words. 

“I’m just going to say it,” Whizzer said, more to himself than anyone else. “I’m just going to say it, be open about it, and  _ say  _ it.” 

“You don’t owe it to me to tell me anything, you know?” Trina said, her  _ kind  _ sisterly instincts immediately kicking in. 

“No, but I want to tell you,” Whizzer said, taking a deep breath. 

“Then I’m honoured,” 

“I’m HIV positive.” Whizzer vocalized. “There, I said it. I’m HIV positive.”

“Does Marvin know?” Trina asked, before she could stop herself. Damn it. 

Whizzer’s face fell. “Yes, that’s why-” he trailed off, but Trina could fill in the gaps. 

“Fuck,” Trina said, swearing for the first time since - well, Trina actually couldn’t remember the last time she swore. “Shit. Sorry, I’m just - there’s a lot of ‘editing old memories’ going on in my brain right now.” 

“It’s okay,” Whizzer laughed, but it wasn’t really genuine, Trina knew. 

“I just - I just really need to have a talk with Marvin. About our talks, ironically. I’ve rethought my talks with him, and oh the things that emerge.”

Whizzer laughed again, but it was considerably more genuine this time. “Guess we’re  _ both  _ members of the ‘I Have A Complicated Relationship With Marvin’ club,”

“And the ‘People Who Love Marvin Even After He Takes Advantage Of Them And Never Apologizes Or Shows Gratitude’ club,”

“There’s a lot to unpack here, isn’t there?” Whizzer said, seriously, unlike seconds before. 

“I guess there is. But this isn’t about me, this is about you. Are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just, I’ve known since I was a kid. I have my meds, I take them, just like I should. They, I mean the doctors, never really figured out where I got it from. My mom died when I was just a baby and never got tested, so I could’ve been born with it. I could’ve gotten infected by a needle, when I was getting vaccinated, so that’s, well it’s that.”

“Thank you for telling me, I’m glad that you were comfortable enough to do so.” Trina might’ve sounded overly formal, but it was true. As was the fact she wanted to hug Whizzer, at that very moment. He needed it, but so did she. 

“Thank  _ you  _ for caring about me and listening to me and,” Whizzer seemed to have noticed that Trina wanted to hug him, and hugged her first. 

Whizzer brushed a hand through her hair, “just being you. Being you is enough,” He finished. 

Trina pulled away. “I didn’t tell you why I’m here. I’m sorry, I have to-”

“It’s okay, I know.” 

“You do?” Trina wasn’t  _ really  _ surprised, but she’d have hoped she was a little more discreet. 

“Marvin and I have a lot of things to talk through,” he explained. Well, given their previous discussion, that was the best interpretation of  _ the plan _ . 

“You could say that,” Trina laughed, trying not to be obvious in the fact that she was forcing it. “Now, I’ve got to go before Jason makes Cordelia buy a thousand dollar chess set.”

“Those exist?”

“Probably,” and then Trina ran off. 

***

Jason wouldn’t make Cordelia buy a thousand dollar chess set, right?

Those couldn’t actually exist. Could they?

So what if they did? Jason wouldn’t make Cordelia get one, would he?

Trina couldn’t focus on that right now, but just to be safe, she texted Jason, telling him that he couldn’t make Cordelia buy a chess set that was more than twenty-five dollars. 

He didn’t reply immediately, so Trina shoved her phone in her pocket, right after she tracked down Charlotte’s phone. At least she then knew where Charlotte and, assuming that she was sticking to their plan, Marvin, were. 

She ran to the other side of the mall, faster than she ever would’ve thought possible for her too do. And there they were, lost in conversation. 

Trina started to walk close to them, somehow hoping that Marvin would and wouldn’t notice her at the very same time. He did, of course, notice her. 

And he ran across the mall hallway, but it wasn’t like anything Trina had ever pictured it to be. Neither was anything else, or so it seemed. It was stilted, odd and  _ painful  _ to watch. 

Marvin was frightening, but he was also terrified of  _ something.  _ And she loved him. 

She loved him so much that it hurt and that it was killing her slowly. 

What should she have expected him to say, when he opened his mouth to talk to her?

Nothing, apparently, because he didn’t  _ say  _ anything. 

He just kissed her. 

But unlike in every one of Trina’s dreams, she didn’t kiss back. Because she’d accepted the fact that she didn’t like him  _ like that _ . And  _ he  _ didn’t love  _ her  _ like that. 

She was scared that he wasn’t going to pull away, terrified that she would suffocate. But eventually, he did. 

“I love you,” he whispered, a charming smile sneaking onto his face. But it was all a ruse. 

“No, you don’t.” Trina turned around and walked away, without looking back. Her vision was blurry and her head heavy, but she just kept walking in the straight path before her. 

She couldn’t hear Marvin or Charlotte and assumed that they walked away, from her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think that listening to everywhere at the end of time while writing this might have influenced,,,an amount of this chapter.


	15. love is difficult, but it's real.

Why couldn’t things  _ ever  _ go according to plan?

Why couldn’t Marvin just, deal with his  _ own  _ emotions,  _ without  _ dragging anyone else into them? Why was it so hard for Trina to do the right thing?

And why did walking away from Marvin feel like doing the wrong thing? 

How did he just kiss her? Why did he do it? Why would he  _ ever  _ do it?

He didn’t love her, not like that. He loved  _ Whizzer _ . 

Whizzer. What would she do if Whizzer had seen them? 

If he had seen Marvin and Trina, together? Who would he blame? Who would he be mad at?

Because between Whizzer and Trina, it was clear who Marvin would pick, who anyone and everyone would pick. 

Whizzer was the picture of pretty perfection. People wanted to make him smile, to see him happy. It was just human nature. 

But Whizzer wasn’t the person that everyone thought he was. He wasn’t the confident, extravagant, eccentric,indiscreet and proud man that everyone made him out to be. 

He was someone robbed of a proper childhood. He’d never said it, of course, but he didn’t have to say it for Trina to know. 

She knew that it didn’t matter what one’s childhood seemed like from an outside perspective. 

Teenagers and adults could reshape stories and the past to make them ‘a better fit’. 

Just because something seemed perfect, didn’t mean that it was. Because appearances could be very, very, very deceiving. And sometimes people learned that the hard way. 

So maybe Whizzer could tell that it wasn’t Trina’s fault. Just maybe. 

But she could never be too sure with him; Whizzer was full of surprises. 

So she wasn’t really, when she saw him walking towards her, though her vision was still blurry with tears that she hoped he didn’t notice. 

“Have you seen Marvin?” He asked, a hopeful look on his face.

Trina didn’t know whether or not to lie. 

She didn’t know whether he’d be happier to know the truth or to live in ignorance, but it wasn’t her decision to make. Keeping secrets was never the right answer. Enough movies and TV shows had taught her that. Intent hardly ever mattered. 

“Yes. He kissed me.”

“He what?” 

“He kissed me and I walked away. He told me that he loved  _ me _ , but it isn’t true. He’s scared, he’s hiding. He feels alone.” 

“I know,” Whizzer whispered. 

“You do?”

“I’m in love with him, of course I do. I just-” Whizzer’s voice cracked. “I wanted to be there for him, help him get over his fears, help him open up.”

“You still can, can’t you?”

Whizzer shook his head. “What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” 

“Whiz, I don’t think it’s possible for  _ anyone  _ to stop loving you.”

“Then what if he never started? Loving me, I mean.” 

“Anyone with two eyes and half a wit could see how much he was in love with you.” Trina said, trying to make a joke. 

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

Whizzer hugged her and left. She guessed that he was going to find Marvin, but she could never really be sure with Whizzer. 

What if Marvin ended up hurting Whizzer even more? What if he snapped? What if-

Trina took a deep breath. The what-if questions weren’t going to get her anywhere. She watched as Whizzer walked away. He was wearing a sweater, she noticed. The same sweater. Marvin’s sweater; the one from the beginning of the summer. 

She found it in herself to hope that Marvin loved Whizzer as much as Whizzer loved him, and that she wasn’t wrong in what she said to Whizzer. 

She almost found herself wanting to follow Whizzer, to watch him in wherever he was going and whatever he was doing. But she didn’t. 

They needed to figure this out themselves. Trina wasn’t their therapist, she was their  _ friend _ . And she could help them, as friends did, but it wasn’t her job to fix everything between them. She just had to keep reminding herself that.

Jason. Cordelia. The two names rang through her head. She needed to find them. She called Jason and he picked up on the second ring. 

“Hi?”

“Jason!” Trina immediately brightened. “It’s Trina, hi.” 

“Okay…”

“Oh, um, sorry. Where are you?”

“At the food court. With Cordelia and Charlotte.” 

“I can’t hear them,” Trina said, almost to herself. 

“That’s because I’m in the bathroom.”

“You picked up your phone in the bathroom. Jason-” Trina began. 

“I’m sorry. They were just, all over each other and mushy-gushy. And, well, they’re kind of like big sisters to me. So it’s weird to see them, you know.”

Trina sighed, “I know what you mean. Now come on. We’re going back to your brother’s apartment.” 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Trina said, just realizing that she had been walking and talking without paying any real attention to where she was going. She nodded in apology to the three people that she nearly bumped into. 

“Taking me home.” He said. “But also for being here for me, being there for my brother. Being there for-for Whizzer.” 

“Of course.”

And so they went back. They watched Jason’s favourite shows, played chess, made his favourite dish - a very particular kind of macaroni and cheese - and also just sat together in silence. Before Marvin returned. 

Trina tried not to think about it, what it would be like when Marvin came back. They would have to talk, she knew. But she was scared of how strained it would be. And yet it wasn’t. 

Marvin was all too giddy, Trina almost thought that he was having a seizure. 

“Jason, Trina, hi!” So Trina took it that talking to Whizzer went well. That didn’t mean that Marvin forgave him. She knew that deserved better than to be  _ used _ . 

“The money’s by the door, let me know if I miscounted, will you?”

Trina forced a smile and stood up. “Of course.” She counted. It was right, well, except for the twenty dollars on the side that he’d attached a sticky note too. 

The sticky note read  _ ‘For Trina :) _ ’. She doubted that he would let her return it even if she tried. She pocketed it, reminding herself to use it on a birthday gift for Jason. Because he deserved it, having to have lived with Marvin for twelve years. 

“Bye Jason,” she called out as she walked out the door. And she felt...complete.

Cordelia and Charlotte were on the couch together when she got home. They were cuddling, their clothes and hair a mess from doing things that Trina didn’t want to think about them doing. 

“Whizzer called,” Charlotte said. “He asked for you. Told him he had the wrong number. Because you know, he did, if he was calling me.”

“Oh?” Trina asked. “How long ago was this?”

“Like ten? Fifteen? Minutes?” Cordelia supplied. 

“Thanks,” Trina said, rushing to the bedroom. She called Whizzer. 

“Pick up, pick up, just pick up, damn it.” He didn’t. So she called him again. And again. And again. And again. Then he  _ finally  _ fucking picked up. 

“Who is this?” He asked. 

“Trina?” She said, phrasing her name like a question out of confusion. 

“This is  _ your  _ number?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I called you like half an hour ago, but you didn’t pick up.”

“No, you called Charlotte,” she held back a smile. 

“Oh.” He said again. 

Trina cleared her throat. “I think you know why I called,”

“I do,” Whizzer said, and she could hear the smile through the phone.

“So, tell me  _ everything. _ ” 

And he did. Whizzer and Marvin had talked - and “talked”, but Trina cut him off before he could go into detail about things that Trina did not want to think about Whizzer and Marvin doing. 

“So, it’s all good?” Trina asked as soon as Whizzer had finished. 

“No, of course not.” Whizzer answered without thinking. “There’s still a lot of shit that the two of us need to work through, but now, at least we’ll be able to work through it together.”

“You’re-” Trina started, but Whizzer cut her off before she was finished. 

“Yes. We’re together. We’re dating.” Whizzer seemed so happy, Trina almost forgot about Whizzer interrupting her. 

“I’m so happy for you,” Trina smiled even though she knew that Whizzer couldn’t see her, but hoped he could hear her smile through the phone. “But, could you maybe not interrupt me next time?” 

“Sorry,” Whizzer said, and Trina could hear him smiling. 

“Why are you smiling?” 

“You.” Was all that Whizzer said. 

Trina chuckled. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said. “But I do have to go now.” 

“Bye.”

“Bye, Trina.”

She hung up and smiled to herself, because for the first time in a while, it felt like balance was restored in the world. 

Marvin had finally admitted his feelings to himself, and to Whizzer. 

Love was a crazy little thing. And Trina was happy that Whizzer had found love, just like Charlotte and Cordelia and Marvin. She just wished that she could find a love like that for herself. It didn’t even have to be romantic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's one more chapter left!!! 
> 
> can't believe im *this* close to finishing a fic!!!!
> 
> :))


	16. we didn't know how it would be.

Trina’s entire summer seemed to revolve around Marvin, or Whizzer, or Marvin and Whizzer,  _ together.  _ Ever since she met them and ever since they met each other. 

It was all about them. It being  _ everything _ . 

In Trina’s eyes, at least. Because it was Marvin this, Whizzer that. Whizzer this, Marvin that. She’d been so jealous for so long. Much longer than she’d ever like to admit. But wasn’t everyone? The way they loved each other was so passionate, so intriguing and sure, it was unhealthy, but there was something enthralling about it. 

She remembered thinking about how cool Whizzer was. How happy and carefree he seemed. She remembered learning that it wasn’t true. What a summer it was. 

And now, it was the last day of it. 

Starting the very next day, she would be an actual university student. She was going to have her years to be young, wild, and free. She had a chance to reinvent herself, become someone new. 

Because, over the course of her eighteen-year-long life, Trina learned that she was never the favourite, never the first choice and never the one who stood out. 

And she’d just  _ accepted _ that without much complaint. But then there was Whizzer. Whizzer who seemed so like and unlike Trina at the  _ very same time _ . 

She was just laying in bed, thinking, when she felt a pang in her heart as she remembered how jealous she had once been of Whizzer. 

Because of how much Marvin loved him, and how she wanted to be loved like  _ that _ . 

She had spent nearly a month and a half trying to mold herself into a female version of Whizzer; the person Marvin wanted, and…Trina didn’t like thinking about it. She wasn’t  _ mad  _ at Marvin for what happened - that would be hypocritical - but she hadn’t forgotten how strained it made their friendship. 

Still, she didn’t  _ hate  _ him. 

And Whizzer was still her friend. That thought alone made her smile. 

And Jason? Jason  _ really  _ liked Trina. To the point that Marvin’s  _ parents _ gave her a regular job babysitting him. Though not the job she’d have chosen, if she was looking for one, she was definitely grateful to have one. 

Especially if it was to hang out with a twelve-year-old that she genuinely enjoyed spending time with. 

Charlotte and Cordelia were  _ still  _ all over each other, no surprise there. Sure, it made Trina feel lonelier than ever, but seeing her two best friends  _ that  _ happy was worth it and  _ almost  _ cancelled out the feelings of loneliness. 

Anyway, Trina could still dream about having a significant other. Which she had certainly planned to do that night. 

But instead, she was thinking about university. Charlotte, Cordelia and Trina had all gotten their university timetables. As did the boys, but they’d never really talked about school together, so that was that. 

So, Trina, Charlotte and Cordelia were ready to start university. 

Okay, so maybe they weren’t ready and they were actually extremely terrified of starting university. But hey, they were  _ pretending  _ that they were ready, so, same difference. 

Trina took a deep breath and turned over to the side of her bed. She could see Charlotte and Cordelia, who, since they told Trina they were together, put their beds next to each other - in both Minecraft, when they played together and in real life - and were now literally asleep in each other's arms. 

Sleep. Trina needed that, didn’t she?

If she just closed her eyes…

***

And so, after a decent’s night of sleep, Trina walked into her first class of university - and of the day - bright and early, expecting to be the first person in the room. She wasn’t. 

There was already someone else in the room, before her. Even though their class didn’t start for another forty-five minutes. At the very  _ least _ . 

She couldn’t see the person’s face, but she guessed it was a guy, given the width of their shoulders, their hair and all  _ those  _ sorts of tells. 

Trina was very particular in school. She always sat the same distance from her teachers (and professors), in a seat she’d found to be an optimal position for her to hear, see and pay attention to the teacher. 

And in this classroom,  _ that  _ seat happened to be right next to the only other person in the room. Because of course it was. 

She looked over at the person, but their face was covered by a bob - was that the right word? Trina didn’t know - of curly hair. 

She took a deep breath, thinking ‘fuck it’ as she did. 

"Hi," she greeted. It was her first day of university, after all, wouldn’t she be doing something room if she wasn’t reinventing herself? 

The person looked up, finally and their eyes met. 

"What the fuck?" Trina couldn’t help but murmur out. 

"I’m Mendel Weisenbachfeld," He greeted, a knowing smirk on his face. 

"Trina," she decided to play along, sticking her arm out to for him to shake. 

"I didn’t realize until yesterday that this class isn’t only for second years, but it certainly didn’t register until  _ now  _ that it was, well, you know-"

"You didn’t think that I’d be here," Trina finished for him. 

“No offense, but there aren’t really any girls in my major.” 

"I highly doubt that," Trina quipped back. She was used to the comment, false as it may have been. 

"Oh?"

"I just think that you don’t notice the girls in your classes. For example," Trina paused to gesture to herself. "Me. I was the only other person in the class. If I was in your position, I would’ve definitely looked up. I’d be too scared of getting kidnapped or something not to."

"If I looked up, I would’ve started staring. And it’s not polite to stare." 

Trina’s reaction was that of something between a scoff and a blush. 

"What?"

"You know exactly what." 

"Would you like to go out for coffee with me?" Mendel asked, his face flushing red as the words left his lips. "The two of us, I mean. Like as friends or-"

“Yeah, yeah, why not?” 

Mendel wasn’t perfect, but was anyone  _ really  _ perfect? Because Trina sure wasn’t, and she was fine with that. She had learned to be fine with being  _ just  _ Trina, since it meant being herself. 

And just Trina was worthy of love, in more ways than she could have imagined. 

Her life was only beginning, and she already had some amazing friends that she’d go through life with. Friends that she wouldn’t trade for the world, or even greater than that, friends that she wouldn’t trade for a kiss from her first love. Because those sorts of things  _ never  _ lived up to one’s expectations. 

Besides, there were so many more to come.

Love isn’t finite, nor is it something you can only ever have with one person.

Love is in everything, everywhere. Sometimes the love is just a little tiny pocket, but other times, it’s a world of its own. 

Trina would’ve described herself as a hopeless romantic, one day in the past, but there was so much more to love than romance. 

This was just the start of the story, of the story that was the long, complicated, messy and sometimes tragic tale of Trina’s life. And Trina wasn’t invincible, and she knew life often didn’t have happy endings, but she could still survive a lot. 

She already had gone through so much. And it didn’t just ‘make her stronger’. It broke her in ways that she didn’t know she could’ve been broken, in ways that she knew she’d never heal from, but that was all just a part of being human. 

Yet, Trina was stronger than  _ everyone  _ gave her credit for and she knew that would make some sort of difference or impact, someday. And there were also so many major moments of her life that she still had to look forward to. 

But right then, she had class and a coffee date with Mendel Weisenbachfeld to look forward to, and that, was a start. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did it. i finished an entire fanfic. 
> 
> of course, it's barely edited and it's a mess, but it's there, there's a story and there's something there, i think you can all find, relate to and enjoy. so i hope that you did. :)
> 
> follow me on tumblr !! @iwasthatoddfangirl
> 
> i don't talk much about falsettos there, but my messages are always open if you want to talk and it's pretty gay (if i do say so myself)

**Author's Note:**

> since people are actually reading this fic, i want to link the #blacklivesmatter google doc here, so you can sign some petitions, learn more about blm and related issues and/or donate. 
> 
> https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1-0KC83vYfVQ-2freQveH43PWxuab2uWDEGolzrNoIks/mobilebasic


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